Life For Me
by Sami365
Summary: This is Katniss's life after the Hunger Games, my version. Here she is dating Gale and they have a son named Jake. But Katniss isn't happy and is still wondering if she loves Peeta. READ FULL SUMMARY INSIDE. Rated M for lemons and other things I have in mind...
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Katniss isn't happy. Its been months since she came back from the Hunger Games and she still hasn't answered her question: Does she loved Peeta? Now of days, even though she is dating Gale and they have a son named Jake, she still tries to find the answer. For now, her goals are to try to love Gale more than like a brother and enjoy the time she has left with her son because the capital has a plan for him- and a punishment for her.

A/N: This is first story so please send me advice to help me make it better. And… any advice for lemons. There is attempted one in here. Hope its good enough for the story J

"Peeta." I see him laying in the stream, hurt. Then things shift. I see him as a kid again, tossing me the burnt bread without looking my way. Shifts. We are in the cave, kissing. Shifts. Running for our lives to the Cornucopia. Shift. Cato threatening to kill Peeta. Shift. Leaving the station with Peeta when we got back from the Games. Shift. Saying goodbye to him. The last time I saw him since we got home. We said goodbye and just left, both hurt.

'No, say something to him. Don't let him leave like that!' I tried screaming but no sound came out and we continued walk away from each other. 'No, no, no, no, no, no…!'

"NO! No, no, no, no!" I screamed.

"Katniss! Wake up!" Gale wakes me up and holds me. "It was just a dream, Catnip. You're ok." He soothes me.

I wipe eyes, realizing I was crying. I take deep breathes, hoping to calm myself. After a few minutes, I pull away from Gale and look up at him.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome. Was it about the Games again?" he asks, pulling me back into his heart and stroking my hair.

"Yeah." I lie. I do have nightmares about my time in The Hunger Games, but this isn't one of those. I never have the heart to tell him when I dream of Peeta. Whether they're dreams or nightmares like what I just. Gale and I have been dating since a couple weeks after I got back from the Games. Believe or not, I don't think of that as a day. That day was like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from.

***Flashback***

I had been back home for 3 weeks now. Gale has to work in the mines now he graduated from school so we could only hunt on Sundays, his day off. He had been acting weird since I came back. I thought it because he thought me and Peeta were a couple, but after I told him, he still acted weird. And happier. I didn't understand why at the time and that makes me angry at myself. Why didn't I see it? If I had understood how he felt at the time then maybe I could have changed things. Maybe I could have prevented all of this from happening. But I didn't. At the time, I couldn't figure it out so I finally asked him about. God, I wish that I didn't.

"I'm in love with you, Katniss…. I have been for a while now." he said, scaring me. Love is such a dangerous thing. It destroyed my friendship with Gale and caused me to now live my lie my whole life.

"I…. love you, too." I told him.

***Flashback Over***

But of course I lied. At least about the way I love him. I've always thought of Gale like my brother. I have never gave any thought about loving him in any other way. I didn't, and still don't, love him like that. But how could I tell him that? I didn't want to hurt him. If I told him I didn't feel the same, he'd probably be uncomfortable around me. And what if he started dating someone else and stayed away from? I couldn't take that. So, to try to hold everything together, I lied to him. So we have been dating for months now. Though, they haven't been easy for us. Crying starts echoing down the hall. Jake's up.

"Here, I'll go take care of Jake. So just relax in here, ok, Catnip?" Gale tells me as he leaves the room to take care of our son. Yes, our son. Like I said, things haven't been easy for us. Actually, things seem downright hard. I never wanted kids, which makes things worse. Don't get me wrong, I love my son, but I regret the night we made him.

***Flashback***

It was 3 weeks after I started dating Gale. We were in my house at the Victors Village. We were just hanging out in my new room. Not really doing anything. In fact, he seemed to have a lot on his mind. Which is why I should of knew things would go wrong if I asked about it. But, again, I didn't know and I asked him anyway.

"Do you really love me, Katniss?" he asked me.

"Of course," I lied again. "Why'd you ask me that?"

"It seems like you're always trying to pretend that we aren't a couple and you seem so upset when I kiss you."

"You're just imagining things." I lied, hating that I'd probably have to do this for the rest of our lives. He was quiet for a few moments, thinking, then he continued .

"I want you to prove that you love me." He told me.

"How?" That was when I started worrying about where he was heading with this.

Then, without any warning, he kissed me and made me lay down on my bed. It has always seemed so creepy, him kissing me, so I never let him do it much. And this is more than just kissing. We were making out. If there was ever a point in my life where I was so naïve, it was then. I thought, since we have never made out before, that that was all he wanted from me. Yep, I was naïve.

Then he started to pull off my shirt and I stopped him right there.

"What are you doing?" I asked him incredulously. Then he look me in the eyes and his reflected pain, from just suspecting that my love is fake, and my hurt felt like it shattered.

"Prove to me that you love me." He told me, though it almost sounded like a beg. Almost. Just like he almost seemed vulnerable. Almost. Which is more than I ever thought that I'd see from him. I mean, Gale? Vulnerable? Begging? That would never happen. Gale always been too strong for that. But I never thought I'd see him this close.

"Ok." I said, silently begging for a way out. So he starting to take my clothes off again, beginning with my shirt and ending with my black lacy panties. Which made me blush because you'd never think that me, Katniss Everdeen, would ever where something like that. Well, I normally don't. My mom gave them to me, wanting to wear them, saying I should dress, little by little, by the very least, like the teens that live in town and not in the Seam. She wanted me to dress better, she said, so I started wearing them, but only because I've been trying to accept things from her more, though I never really imagined that she give me these. Its doesn't matter anymore though. Besides, they're off now.

When all my clothes were off I helped him with his, hesitating when I got to his boxers, but they went off, too. Then he went right to it. No foreplay or anything. He just went inside, which hurt like hell at first, but I felt nothing but pleasure. I still didn't want it to be happening, though. When we were done, I just laid with my head on his chest while he played with my hair, his eyes closed. And I just felt awful for doing that. Especially with him. The things I have to do to keep will always hurt me. I guess that's how things have to be.

A couple weeks later, I went to my mom, worried. My period was a week late and I was feeling sick. That day, she told me I was pregnant and I was scared. I forced myself to tell Gale. I thought he'd be upset, that he'd understand that we don't need this right now. But I was wrong. He was totally ecstatic about it and, for him, I pretended the same. Inside though, I was terrified. I was only 17! I shouldn't be a mom now. To add to it, I never wanted kids. Its not that I don't like kids, its just that I never wanted to bring an innocent child into the world that would have a chance at being in the Hunger Games and, since I'm a victor now, I knew my child would definitely be in it.

When my 3rd month came around, the capital had a mandatory broadcast for the districts to watch and me and Gale watched it at my house, along with my mom, Prim, and Haymitch. President Snow came on the TV and said he had some news. He announced that there wasn't going to be anymore Hunger Games for a while. Said that we will have the 75th Hunger Games the year that we would have had the 87th. He said he wanted to make that one a very special one so he was going to take 12 years or so on it. Gale tensed up next to me and then started to look furious, like he was ready kill someone. Haymitch had a haunted look go over him and my mom started to cry.

"What does this mean?" I asked them. It seemed like the only other person who didn't understand was Prim.

"It means" Haymitch began "That Snow is having an arena special made for your kid to fight in. One that is going take so long to build so they can make it extra deadly and cause it to stop all other Games till that one."

"No!" Gale yelled, then bashed his fist into a lamp and crashed into the wall on the other side of the room.

I was scare, beyond scared. Because of me, of my trick in the arena, my baby will die a painfully death at 12 years old. He will be punished because I lived. I didn't know what to do. I was too scared to even cry. So I just cradled my stomach.

"I love you." I said to it. "And I'm so sorry."

***Flashback Over***

Gale comes in with Jake and sits him on my lap. Jake is 7 months old. I try not to think that I have 11 years and 5 months left with him. I try to enjoy my time with him and waste it worrying. I smile at him and kiss him on his head. He looked up and smiles at me. I truly love my son. But why can't I love his father like I should? And then there is that question that I have been trying to answer since I first came off the train all those months ago. Do I love Peeta?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

A/N: I'm not sure how often I can update the story, but I'll try to as often as I can. I might update more if people favorite and comment on it ;) Now, on with the story.

This chapter is dedicated to 97hollster and eviekins.

-Eviekins, thanks for being the 1st to adding my story to your favorites and alerts.

-97hollster, thanks for being the 1st to comment. You only had 4 simple words and a J for me, but it meant a lot. Thanks again J

**Katniss POV: **

The 3 of us just finished breakfast. Now I'm stuck in the kitchen, doing dishes. I hate doing dishes, but someone one has to do them. Gale works in the mines all day, 6 days a week, so I'm stuck doing them and various other chores in the house, plus taking care of Jake. Its not easy, but again, someone's got to do them.

"I'm heading to work, Catnip." Gale said from behind me.

I turned around to face him and dried my hands with a dish cloth.

"K, have a good day." In told him right before he kissed me. It lasted only a moment then he pulled back and smiled at me.

"Love you." he said.

"Love you, too." I smiled through my lie once again. As soon as he turned away, I frowned and quickly wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Kissing him still feels so weird to me. Its like kissing my brother, if I had one.

He walked over to Jake and picked him up out of his highchair and kissed him on the head.

"Bye, buddy." Gale said to him and gave him a hug. Jake giggled and smiled up at his dad then got put back in his highchair.

"I'll see you and Mommy later, k?" He told Jake as he left for work. I can't help myself but smile. He loves our son very much. Moments like this remind me that things could be much worse.

I turned back to do the dishes. Ugh. Still more to do. I think it's about time I hired a maid. Maid equals no dishes for me to do so it sounds like a good idea. Lets face it: I'm pretty rich from surviving the Hunger Games, so I can actually afford one. Just another thing to add to my to-do list: Hire a maid.

Jake started banging his fist on his highchair and yowling baby words at me. I headed across the kitchen towards him and picked him up. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and he snuggled into me.

"Wanna go play in your room, Jakie?" I asked him, smiling and heading upstairs.

**Peeta POV:**

I stared out my kitchen window and into hers. She was doing the dishes until Gale came to kiss her goodbye before he left for the mine. I watched Katniss frown as soon as he turned away and quickly wiped her mouth. She doesn't love him, at least not how he loves her. I've seen numerous other moments like that before. Its what keeps me hoping that I still might have a chance with her. I still love Katniss.

Gale then walked across the room and said goodbye to their son, who I heard they named Jake. Their son. It still seems so odd, so wrong that Katniss has a kid with someone else. Its been hard for me to watch the girl I have loved since we were kids start a family with another guy and not be able to do anything about it. She knows I love her. Now its her turn to make a move, if she wants to.

I watched Gale leave for work and Katniss pick up her son and leave the room. Her son. If she finds out that that she loves me, I would treat her and Jake right. I'd treat him as if he were my own son, despite being Gale's. But that doesn't matter right now. It won't matter unless she figures out that she's in love with me.

**Katniss POV:**

Its been hours since Gale left for work and I just got Jake to take a nap. I silently put away the toys left from playtime and left the room. I smiled in content. I never knew being a mom could be so… fulfilling. I think I've done a pretty good job so far, too. I've pretty much figured out what to do on my own, except for the few times that I have gone to Hazelle for advice. I haven't gone to my own mom for help though. She's proven to me that she can't take care of prim and me, so how can she help me now?

I sighed. I won't be like her, I won't shut myself down when my son needs me the most. I won't leave my son to defend for himself like she did to me and Prim. I won't- Great, there went my good mood. Just thinking about my mom made things harder.

The door bell rang and echoed through the house, waking Jake up and making him cry. Great. Just great. Oh. I better see who's at the door before I run up to Jake.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys ****J I would like to thank the following people:**

_Nettie13_- For adding my story to their favorites

_Margotrose159_-For adding my story to their favs and alerts.

_Princessofmusic21_- For adding my story to her story alerts.

_SMM17_-For adding my story to their story alerts.

_Purpleninjaz_- For commenting on my story.

_Silverchicklet-_For adding my story to her story alerts

**And a special thanks to:**

_97hollster__- _For commenting 2x in a row and being the first person to comment on my story.

_Sophia Emmeline__- _For saying exactly what I needed to hear in her comment and probably didn't even realize it.

_Lyssindra__- _For being the only one to take a guess at who's at the door. I hope more people take guesses like you J

_NonEgoSumSatis_- For saying you'd read it when I told you about it at school and liking it even though you don't like the Hunger Games. Thanks.

_Mellark's Heart_- For sending me a comment with a strong opinion in it and being the first one to do it. J

**Now on to the story! ****J**

**Chapter 3:**

I open the door and see my little sister, Prim, with her school bag. Damn it. How could I forget Prim comes over everyday after school to visit and get help with her homework? I'm so worn out, I guess I forgot.

"Hey, Prim." I smiled at her.

She smiled back at me until she heard Jake crying, then she switched to a frown.

"Did I wake him? I'm so sorry." Her big hazel eyes look up at me, sad.

"Its alright." I yawned. "Just come in come, k?"

I moved out of the doorway to let her in then started toward the stairs to take care of Jake. Halfway there, Prim stops me.

"Katniss, you look exhausted. Let me take care of Jake for a while and just get some sleep."

I wanted to protest but a yawn that escaped my lips reminded me how tired I felt, so I agreed. We both headed upstairs, Prim to the left hallway, me down the middle one. I ended up passing a mirror in the hall. I glanced in it as I passed and stopped myself to take another look. I looked like crap. I had bags under my eyes and my hair was a mess. I definitely needed sleep.

I made my way to my room, but instead of heading to my bed, I headed to my window and sat down on its seat. I stared through my window at Peeta's, lost in thought. About Peeta. Why do I think about him at all? I think about him a lot . When I wake up and go to sleep. When I daydream. When I kiss Gale…. Why can't I stop thinking about him? Why does my heart ache from not seeing him. Why am I like this?

Suddenly, Peeta came to his window. He noticed me instantly and we locked eyes. My heart skipped a beat then sped up. Without meaning to, I started to smile at him and my eyes started to tear up. This was the first time I've seen him in months. Seeing him makes me so happy. He gives me a small smile and I went back to wondering. Everything starts to click in my head and I found that I had my answer, not just for my current question, but for the given to me by my boy with the bread.

"I love you." I whispered as I realized it.

My hand shot to my mouth. I didn't mean to say that out loud. Did he hear me? One glance at his expression told me he did. Of course he did. Our windows are only about 3 feet from each other.

My face turned red as I watched his surprised expression. I turned to leave the window when I heard his answer.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear that." He said and I turned back to look at him.

"After everything that's happened in my life since we said goodbye, You'd still take me? You still love me?" I asked, not believing hit possible.

"I will always love you, no matter what." He answered

"But I'm still with Gale and we have Jake. I … don't understand." I whispered the last part.

"You don't love Gale, I can see that. I don't care that you have a son, Katniss. It doesn't bother me. I love you all the same."

I started to cry then. I couldn't help it. Peeta was so kind, so sweet. And he loves me, despite everything.

"Don't cry, Katniss." He smiled at me.

I wiped my eyes, but tears still flowed.

"Can I come over?" I asked.

"Of course." He answered.

I climbed out the window and onto my roof.

"What are you doing?" He asked with obvious worry.

I hopped onto his roof, climbed through his window, and immediately fell into his arms. He held me tight.

"You could of used the door, you know," He said, holding me tighter.

"Nope. Prim's over watching Jake. I don't want her to know I'm gone. I'm supposed to be taking a nap."

He shakes his head at me.

"So reckless." He muttered, then took a good look at me. "You sure you don't want to rest?"

"I want to sty with you. Please let me stay." I begged.

"Ok." He said. We stared into each others' eyes for a moment and we drifted closer to each other till we kissed. It was the best kiss I ever had. Better than our kisses in the past because I know how I truly feel about him. This kiss started soft and sweet, but quickly morphed into something more hungry and passionate. Yes. My favorite kiss. This is the kiss I think about when I Ga-."

I pulled back. I cant do this to Gale. I can't. I can't hurt him like this. I covered my face and cried again. I don't normally cry, no matter what life throws at me, but lately, it feels like life has switched its weapon to a bat and repeatedly beats me with it. I can't help but cry.

"Katniss?" Peeta asked, concerned.

"I can't. I can't do this. I can't hurt Gale like this. Yes, I love you, not him and I don't think I could ever be happy without you, but I can't. I care about him. Gale has been like my big brother since the day we met out in the woods. I'm sorry. I can't do this to him." I explained.

Things were quiet for a while. Finally, he took my hands away from my face, wiped my tears away, and kept both of his hands on each side of my face. We were like that a moment longer before he spoke.

"You can't be happy without me." He stated.

"No." I whispered

"Then don't be without me." he said.

"I just told you-" I started.

"That's not what I meant." He said. "I meant that we could be friends."

Me, friends with the boy with the bread? When we were kids, that probably would have worked, but not anymore. He's become much more than the boy with the bread. He's the man who entered the Hunger Games with me. Who swore to himself that he would protect me no matter what. Who was willing to die for me. He's the man I love. How could a friendship work between us when we mean so much more to each other? But if this is our only chance then we need to take it.

"We can try." I mumbled at last.

We were silent for a while. I'm not even sure for how long. Seconds? Hours? Time kept slipping by until he spoke again.

"Just one last kiss." He asked.

I knew we shouldn't. It was just going to make things harder for us. Harder for us to stay within the boundaries of friendship. But I feel as if I can't say no.

We leaned in closer together and kiss. It felt just like before. I don't know how long we kissed, but when we pulled away, all I wanted to do was kiss him again. But I didn't.

"I should go." I said. "I should sleep now while I can. Jake wakes up a lot at night so I never get much of it."

"Lets hang out tomorrow." I said. "As friends."

"Sounds good. When and where should we meet?"

"My place, around 1 pm? Is that ok?" I hoped it was because its perfect for me. Gale will be at work and, since it'll be Saturday, Prim can watched Jake for me.

"Its perfect. See ya tomorrow, Katniss."

"Yeah, see ya tomorrow." I said climbing through the window.

I went straight to bed after I slipped through my window. I fell asleep thinking of Peeta.

**A/N: Well did you like this one? Comment and tell me. And thanks again to the people I mentioned up top. I really appreciate it.J**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

**Again, I want to thank the following people:**

_KeylanaMellark- For adding my story to her story alert._

_Driver72- For adding my story to her favorites._

**And a special thanks to:**

_Lmel77- For the enthusiasm in her comment and for giving me more confidence in my story._

_Mellark's Heart- For continuing to read and comment on my story __J_

**Now, on with the story J**

I wake up later to someone stroking my hair. Peeta? But of course its not Peeta.

"Gale." I said and yawned.

"Hey, Catnip." He said, still stroking my hair.

I turned my head to see the clock on my nightstand. And freaked out at the time. Its 11:58 PM.

"Prim!" I quickly sat up.

"She's fine." He said. " I came home about an hour ago and found her and Jake asleep on the couch. I carried both of them to bed. She's in the bedroom next to Jake's. I called your mom and told her that she's staying the night."

I sighed in relief and him a hug.

"Thanks." I said.

"No problem. I guess you needed sleep." He said.

"Yeah." I confirmed. "I didn't get much sleep because of my nightmare last night and I had to take care of Jake all day, so I was exhausted."

He gave me a quick kiss then laid down with me. We laid there for a while before he spoke.

"I'm sorry I can't help with Jake more." He said quietly.

"Its ok-" I began

" No, its not." He said firmly when he interrupted me. "I feel like I'm not doing my part in the parenting. I should be doing more to help you."

"I don't need help." I told him. "Besides, you don't have time to help. You have to work. Which is why you need your sleep! You have work tomorrow."

"I need to make more time for you and Jake." He said, ignoring my last comment. "I'll quit my job at the mines. Its not like we need the money anyway."

"You can't. The Capitol won't allow it." I answered.

"They would if we were married." He countered.

"But were not." I said, becoming uncomfortable.

"But we could be, if you married me." He said.

I sat back up quickly and broke our embrace.

"Are you…uh…" No, no, no, no.

He sat up and held both my hands in his. He met my eyes with his before he spoke.

"Marry me, Katniss." He said in his sweetest voice.

My heart sank. Oh, he said it. But I'm a bit ticked off now for two reasons: For one, the way he asked. He didn't **ask **, he **told** me to marry him and thinks he's being sweet. Am I taking this too offensively? Maybe, but I don't like being told what to do. Secondly, he's ruining everything again. For a third time, he's making everything I built around me and my reality that I use to keep going forward crumble down. I know he doesn't know what he's doing to me, but I can't help but be angry at him.

Unfortunately, anger isn't the only thing I'm feeling. Like the other times before, I mostly feel my overwhelming need to do whatever it is to keep him. This feeling upsets me because it means, if I choose to give into the feeling again, I'll have to sacrifice even more for him. I started to cry.

"Katniss?" He asked, not sure if my tears are from joy or if I'm truly upset.

What do I do? Should I give into this feeling and marry him to make him happy or try to deal with the mess of mesaying no, of saving myself from this situation?

"I…"

**A/N: I really wanted to try a cliffhanger. What do you think? Comment! Please! I hope you liked it J I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **

**This chapter is dedicated to Lmel because she wanted Gale to screw up. Hope u enjoy this one, Lmel ****J (Along with everyone else) J**

*******WARNING: LEMON IN THIS CHAPTER*******

"I…..no." I answered. "I can't."

I tried to run out of bed, but Gale pulled me back and restrained me from leaving. I kept screaming at him to let me go. He just tightened his grip.

"Why not?" He asked, obviously angry and hurt.

"Gale, that hurts. Stop." I begged through my tears.

"Aren't I good enough for you anymore, Katniss?" He screamed at me then threw me off the bed and my right eye hit the corner of my desk. Prim burst through the door just in time to see me thrown.

"Katniss!" Prim yelled and ran over to me. I tried to stop crying, but I couldn't. Prim shouldn't see me like this.

I was still crying when she helped me up. I look over at Gale and noticed his expression was different. He looked horrified and in disbelief, as if he couldn't believe he had just did that to me.

"Katniss, I-I'm sorry." He said, then got up and headed towards us. Me and Prim backed away towards the door. Gale stopped in his tracks.

"Kat-" He began as we bolted out the door, ran down the hall, and took a right to Jake's room. When we got there, I locked the door.

"Katniss, let me in. I'm sorry." He said, sounding sincere. But I was too scared to let him in. So I picked up sleeping Jake and grabbed his diaper bag. The three of us went out the window and onto the roof. We walked on there till we got to Peeta's roof and slipped through one of his windows. We ended up in his study. We went into the hallway and spotted Peeta, down the hall, getting ready to enter his room.

"Peeta." I called.

He looked down the hall and saw us.

"Katniss?" He called back and walked towards us. Then he flipped the light. He had many emotions on his face from seeing me bruised. Surprised. Concerned. Angry. And one that showed his urge to protect me no matter what.

"What happened?"

"Can we stay here for tonight? Please." I sniffled and Prim sobbed silently next to me.

"Of course." He said and took us into an empty bedroom. Later, once Prim was asleep, I left Jake in the room with her and followed Peeta out. We ended up in another bedroom on the other side of the house. He closed the door behind us and turned to me.

Ok, now what happened?" He asked firmly.

I sighed. I had calmed down and stopped crying, but I was still upset. I didn't wanna tell him about it. I knew I didn't have a choice though. I looked down, ashamed.

"I was my fault. I'm such a selfish person. I-."

I was cut off when he kissed me, the way he did before. My mind went blank till he broke away and held my face in his hands.

"You are the most beautiful, unselfish, amazing women I have ever met so don't think any differently. Especially because of him and I know he has something to do with it. He gave you the black eye and the bruise on your arm." He stated

"Black eye?" I didn't know he gave me a black eye. I raced into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Sure enough, I had a black eye. I also noticed that the bruise on my arm was big and purple. Tears ran down my cheeks and, since I couldn't stop them, I decided to pretend they weren't there.

"He…. Did this to me?" Reality hit me once again, hard.

Peeta opened his mouth- probably to say something mean about Gale- when I placed my hand over his mouth to stop him.

"Don't. Just please let me explain what happened first. Please." I begged.

His eyes softened and I pulled my hand away.

"Ok." He said and took my hand. We went and sat on the bed. I told him what happened. By the time I was done, Peeta's face was red with fury.

"I'll kill that son of a bitch!" He said.

"No, Peeta! This is all my fault. I should have said yes to make him happy. Instead, I said no and hurt him. That's why I said I was selfish. I'm such a terrible person." I covered my face and sobbed. Peeta wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

"This is what he does to you, Katniss. He makes you sacrifice every bit of yourself and make you believe things like that. You? Terrible? Not even close. You are a good hearted person. Its why you have put him first for so long, but now its time to do what right for you and being with him isn't."

"I have to stay with him, for Jake." I said.

"Its not good for him either. To have his mom unhappy and a dad that beats her. And if he can do that to you then he can do it to Jake."

"He would never hurt Jake!"

"Like he'd never hurt you?"

He was right, I knew it, but I didn't want him to be.

"I have to break up with him." I finally said. " I will make myself break up with him. For Jake and myself."

He gave me a quick kiss and just held me.

"From this point on, I promise to you and Jake and never let you be hurt again, especially not by him." He vowed. "You both will be happy, I promise."

He included Jake. He said he'd protect Jake and make him happy too. Oh, Peeta.

**(Lemon below- Skip to end of lemon if you don't want to read it.)**

I kissed him for it. For being so… him. So sweet. He made me want him- no, he made me need him. I pushed him down on the bed and kissed him more hungrily. I took off his shirt and he took off mine. Same with our pants. When we got to out underwear, he stopped us.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. Gale never asked what I wanted. He didn't care. But Peeta did.

"Yes." I answered. "I want you."

I decided to give him a special treat. Something that I never did before, just read about. When I took his boxers off, I put his length inside my mouth. Let the foreplay begin.

"K-Katniss." He moaned.

I did that a while longer till her decided to return the favor. He stuck two fingers into my womanhood. Then he stuck a third in.

"O-oh god, Peeta." I moaned. It felt amazing. Such an indescribable pleasure. That ended too soon. But then we started the big real fun: sex. Sex with Peeta: another indescribable pleasure. During, I noticed that he liked to nimble on ear and suck on my breasts. He made thing so…. perfect. Sex with Gale is something I want to forget. Sex with Peeta is something I never want to forget.

When we finished, I fell into his arms.

"I love you, Peeta." I told him and enjoyed the feeling of saying those words to someone and not lying to them for a change.

"I love you, too, Katniss." He said and knew he meant it, too. That night I dreamed sweet dreams for the first time in a while. And woke up happy.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**

**Here's the people I want to thank this time:**

**Added Story Alert Ppl:**

_hotcoals_

_Emmerz 777_

_Kourtney94_ _nenwick_

**Added Story To Favs:**

_hotcoals_

_berrynice12_ _Emmerz 777_ _nenwick_

**Special Thanks****J :**

_Margotrose159- For your opinion making think more than I'm used to lol. Opinions like that help me keep my story good __J_

_Mellark's Heart -For always reading my story and letting me turn to you for your opinions, advice, and giving me reassurance J_

Its been a month since my night with Peeta. Since then, I've broken up with Gale and kicked him out. It wasn't easy though. I literally had to call in the Peacekeepers to drag him out. He obviously wasn't happy about it. I'm starting to think he did every that he did to me for control over me. Don't get me wrong, I know he loves me. Its just that he enjoyed controlling me. I can't really explain it. I just know.

I had Prim keep quiet about what Gale did to me and not even tell Mom. I know I gave her another burden to carry, but I don't want people what happened and I'm not ready for Mom to know. I'll tell her someday, but not yet.

I'm on my way to Mom's now, actually, but not to tell her that. This is scarier. I've been puking a lot lately. Especially in the mornings

Peeta thinks I got the stomach virus that's been going around. He's been worried about me so he sent me to my mom's to be sure. I don't think it's a virus, though. My period is late, too, so I think I know what's wrong. I've been through this before. I'm going to my mom's to see if I'm pregnant.

I'm scared. I don't want this to happen again. I don't think I can handle it. I walked into Mom's house.

"Mom?" I called.

She poked her bedroom door

"Katniss?" She asked, surprised. She walked toward me. "You know Prim's at school right?"

"I know. I-I'm here for the same reason as last time, Mom"

Her eyes went wide.

"Your not… again? She couldn't even say the word.

"I don't know." I answered. "That's why I'm hear."

"I heard you broke up with Gale. Who's is it?"

"Lets see if I am first." I told her.

She nodded and went to her medical cabinet. I bought her a bunch of medical supplies when I came back form the Games. A certain type of one has been very useful to me.

Mom pulled out a pregnancy test and silently handed it to e. I went into the bathroom to use it. When I was done, I wait for one of the longest 15 minutes of my life, tied only with the first time I did this. When it was finally ready with the results, I took a deep breath. Remember, blue means I am, pink means I'm not.

I looked down at it. Its….

"Blue." I whispered and put my head in my hands. How do I tell Peeta? He react like Gale did. He saw Jake as something to use to keep me with you, to control me. Peeta's not like that. He'll see this baby as what it is: a helpless life that we have to take care of, have to protect.

But we won't be able to protect it. Like we can't truly protect Jake. The capital is putting all their resources together as it is so he can die in his Hunger Games.. What will they do when they find out that me and Peeta, The Star Crossed Lovers of the 74th Hunger Games, are having a baby together.

Killing a child of one victor? That's pretty much a yearly thing for them. A child of two of the most famous victors alive? It'd been like Christmas to them. I cried into my hands. Oh god, no.

"Katniss?" Mom opened the door. She saw me crying and hesitatingly hugged me. Surprisingly, I let her.

"I-I know I let you down in the past," She began. "but I want to help you through this. If you give me that chance, I promise I won't let you down again."

"Mommy?" I said through my tears.

"Yes, honey?"

I told her everything. That Peeta's the father and all my fears for this child. She just held me and listened. When I was done, she spoke.

"I wish I could tell you that you're being irrational, but your not. The capitol will probably plan something for this child, too, and I don't see how it can be prevented. All I can tell you is that you have your dad's strength so I know you'll make it through."

Just then, Prim came in.

"Mom, I'm here for lunch-." She stopped as she saw the scene before her. "What's going on?"

I sighed and gave her a sad smile.

"Me and Peeta are going to have a baby. I just found out." I told her."

"Are you ok?"

"I'll be fine," I said. "but I have to I have to get home now.

How am I going to tell Peeta?

**A/N: So what do you think? Do you like where the story is heading? Comment to let me know!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey ppl! I normally type up a new chapter every Friday, but I really wanted to do this chapter today, so here it is. First, here's the ppl I wanna thank:**

_**97hollster:**__**For commenting yet again on my story and adding it to her favs**__**J**_

_**MullerConnor**__**: For adding me and my story to his favs.**_

_**Penelaine**__**: For adding my story to her alerts.**_

_**Special Thanks:**_

___**-For being the first person to comment on chp. 6 and for liking where my story is headed J**_

_**Kourtney94**__**-For calling my last chapter "amazing" and saying it made u "freak out" J**_

_**Margotrose159**__**- For making a very interesting guess about what Katniss will do to save her baby and mention her and her mom's new bond J**_

_**Mellark's Heart**__**- For being a kick ass psychic and genius for see where my story is heading J **_

I opened Peeta's door and walked in. I promised him I'd have lunch with him once I got back from Mom's. Things have been great between us. He's been good with Jake, too. He's been watching him since I left for Mom's.

I made my way through his house and found him in the kitchen, making lunch. He was making pancakes, my favorite. I could eat them for any meal. Except now. My stomach lurched and I ran do to the bathroom. I kneeled at the toilet and puked. A moment later, Peeta's

gentle hands pulled my hair back and murmured soothing words into my ear.

"Go away." I groaned. I didn't want him to see me that, even with him not knowing the reason for it.

"No, I'm staying here with you." He said, finality in his voice.

I sighed and waited to see if I still need to stick by the toilet.

"Are you ok now?" He asked.

I nodded and he helped me up.

"What did your mom say?"

"That I'm fine. Nothing's wrong with me." I'm still not ready to tell him.

"Really?" He asked, skeptical.

"Yeah, but I have good news." I said, hoping to distract him.

"Good news?" He asked.

"Yep. I made up with my mom today." I smiled at him.

"That's great." He smiled back. "I think you'll be happier without past problems with her hanging over your head."

"Yeah." I said, lost in thought.

We walked out of the bathroom. When we started towards the kitchen, I tugged in his sleeve. He looked back questioningly.

"Can we eat later? I don't think I can handle it just yet."

"Sure." He looked sympathetic.

I took his hand and lead him to the living room. We laid on the couch, me in his arms, till I spoke.

"Peeta? Do you think we could have our own kid someday. Would you want one?" I asked, scared of his answered.

His body tensed before he spoke.

"Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering." I said, snuggling into his chest to hide my face.

"I think…. it's the last thing we need right now," My heart sank. "especially with the Capitol in charge. Maybe someday, if the Capitol is overthrown."

"Someday." I repeated.

"Yeah."

Jake started crying from upstairs just then. Peeta got up and kissed me on my forehead.

"Just relax. I'll go take care of Jake." He went upstairs. As soon as he did, I sat with my knees to my chest and cried.

He doesn't want our baby. He said it's the last thing we need right now. Its my fault. I always cause trouble for people. I guess that's all I am: trouble. Why can't I do something right for once and stop doing things like this to the people I care about.

"Katniss." He reentered the room and rushed to my side. "What's wrong?"

I put my arms on my knees and hid my face in them. I continued to cry. Peeta put his arms around me and rocked us back and forth. I eventually stopped hiding my face in my arms and hid it in his embrace.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" He asked again.

"Its not someday." I mumbled into his chest.

"What?" He asked.

I pulled away from his chest and looked him in the eyes, hoping he'd hear me this time.

"Someday's not today." I cried out.

It took him a moment to understand the "someday" talk, but when he did, his body went tensed and I hid in his arms again. After another moment , his body relaxed itself and went back to rocking us back and forth. When I finally looked up at him, he spoke.

"This is why you've been sick. You've only known about this since you left your mom's, right?"

"Mhmm." I nodded. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked, puzzled.

"For this," I put my hand on my still-flat stomach. " and for any other trouble I have or will cause you. I can't seem to do anything right. I-" He kissed me to stop my talking. It was passionate and quick. Then he pulled away to talk.

"I told you already." He began. "Don't talk like that and definitely don't believe it. You don't cause trouble. We are both to blame for this."

He held me tighter. "Everything will be ok, I promise."

"How can you promise that? They're going to kill our baby." I told him about my revelation I had at Mom's house (A/N: From chp 6. Katniss was thinking about what the Capitol has planned for Jake and knew that things will be much worse for the baby).

Peeta's eyes darkened, but he didn't look surprised.

"I won't let them hurt the baby or Jake."

"You say that as if you have a choice, as if you could stop them. When the Capitol wants something done, it gets done. You can't prevent it." I argued. I looked away from his determined look before I continued.

"I don't want you to waste the little time we have with them obsessing over this. I want us to enjoy every moment we have with them together." I started to tear up.

Peeta turned my head by my chin to make me face him.

"It won't be like that." He said softly. " I won't waste any time with them. But I will save them. Just trust me."

I was silent.

"Can we stop talking about it now?"

He sighed.

"Ok." After a moment, he added "You look tired."

I yawned. "I'm always tired."

"Then why don't you take a nap?" He asked.

"I will if you come with me." I answered.

"Then lets go." He said, grabbing my hand and leading me to the stairs.

When we got upstairs, I instantly fell asleep in his arms to him stroking my hair. I felt better than I have in a while.

**Peeta POV**

I laid there, stroking Katniss's hair while she slept. Over a month ago, I would have loved this, but now, I just feel guilty. I practically just condemned our unborn child to a brutal death from unknowingly helping give it life. I also caused Katniss to worry more. I have caused trouble.

But I can't dwell on it now. I can't change the past. All I can do is save our baby, and Jake, from the Capitol. I don't know how but I will. I won't let them hurt my family.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Once again, I have ppl to thank ****J :**

_Rosesaphire16- For adding my story to her favs and alerts, making me a fav author, and commenting J_

_.18- For adding my story to her favs and alerts. J_

_Everlasting1286-For adding my story to her alerts and commenting. J_

_Hprwhg00-For adding my story to her alerts. J_

**Special Thanks To:**

_Mellark's Heart- For letting me talk about my story with you and my plans for it J_

_TheBoyWithTheBreadPeeta-For giving me more confidence in my story and reassurance that its turning out good J_

**Katniss POV**

I woke up to find Peeta no longer in bed next to me. I yawned and looked at the clock. 11:47 pm. Where's Peeta? I heard the front door open quietly downstairs and the soft click of it shutting. Ok, that's weird. Where was Peeta at this time of night? I got out of bed to go ask him when I heard Jake cry.

I sighed. I'll have to ask him later after I take care of Jake. I need to get used to this. Setting aside whatever I'm doing. I haven't had to do this so far with Jake surprisingly, but I will definitely have to do it more when me and Peeta's baby is born. Things will definitely be harder.

I head down the hall to Jake's room. Me and Peeta aren't officially living together, but he still insisted to set up a room for Jake. When I get to his room, I see him standing in his crib, crying. I headed towards him.

"Whatcha crying about, Jakie?"

I picked him up and stopped crying instantly, snuggling into me.

"Aw, you just wanted Mommy, didn't you?" I said to him.

I love Jake. Yes, along with him came trouble and drama, not to mention more responsibility, but I love him all the same. And I will for every second I have because I know they're numbered. The same will go for the new baby. I will love them both-.

"I want my son back."

I spin around and see Gale in the door way.

"Gale." I said, suddenly scared.

"I want both of you back."

"We're through, Gale. Why can't you understand that?"

"Because I love you and our son so I can't take 'no' for an answer."

"Look, Gale," I began. "I love Peeta. Don't try to ruin this for me, please."

"Katniss," He whispered. "I need you."

"Well, I don't need you."

"Don't you miss me at all, Catnip?"

My heart started to ache. He called me Catnip. I never realized how much I loved hearing him call me that.

"Of course I miss you, but I'm not coming back."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm pregnant!" I blurted, then covered my mouth. That wasn't the right way to tell him. Considering how unstable he can be, it was also dangerous. He was silent for a moment before I continued.

"Peeta's going to be a father. I can't keep him from our child. Not now and not after its born.

He was silent for another moment when before he spoke.

"So its ok to keep me away from my son, but not to keep him away from his kid."

"Yes."

Suddenly, Gale pinned my against the wall. Jake started to cry in my arms.

"What the fuck is the difference!" He yelled.

"The difference," I yelled back. "is that Peeta doesn't do this to me. He doesn't handle me roughly and beat me. Especially with Jake in my arms!"

He looked down at crying Jake, as if finally realizing he was there, and quickly backed away.

"Jake." He whispered.

"Get out! You can't do this to me anymore. You can't treat me like this! Get out!"

He became angry again. "Fine but you're coming with me."

Gale grabbed my arm, the same one he bruised last time, and started to drag me out of the room. I started kicking him and screaming at him to let me go. When we got to the stairs, he switched from dragging me by my arm to my hair. I couldn't stand, let alone fight, so I just held onto Jake tightly.

I couldn't believe this was happening. Gale was kidnapping me and Jake.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know I just posted a chapter yesterday, but I really wanted to do another one today. Anyway, more ppl to thank ****J**

_Kourtney94- For commenting J_

_MellarkIsJHutch- For commenting and having an awesome name J_

_Dev12586- For adding my to story to favs J_

**Special Thanks to:**

_**Margotrose159**__- For calling me an amazing writer and telling me not to forget it. Thanks, that really meant a lot J_

_**Mellark's Heart**__-For sticking with my story from the beginning. It means a lot J_

**Peeta POV**

I was at Haymitch's to ask him for help for saving Jake and the baby. We were discussing different strategy plans when we heard Katniss screaming. We ran to my house, Haymitch a few paces behind me. When we got there, I saw Gale at the bottom of the stairs dragging Katniss by her hair while she was holding a crying Jake.

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled, pulling into the living room to beat the crap out of him. He will pay for hurting her. For hurting her this time and all other times.

**Haymitch POV**

Peeta was taking care of Gale, so that left me to calming Katniss down. She was sitting on the first step of the stairs, trying to calm Jake down, but he wouldn't because she was still crying. I know I'm not the most comforting person, but I had to try to calm her down. I walked over and sat next to her.

"Drama has become your middle name, hasn't it, sweetheart?" I asked her.

She launched her self into my arms.

"Mhmm." She mumbled.

I awkwardly wrapped my arms around her. I haven't hugged anyone since I hugged my family goodbye when left for my own games. It felt weird to me, yet oddly nice. It wasn't long till she stopped crying and calmed down. Jake stopped crying as she did and soon fell asleep. From what I could hear, the boys were still fighting in the living room and Katniss was growing more and more worried by the minute.

**Katniss POV**

I can't take this anymore.

"I'm going to check on them." I said, getting up an repositioned Jake in my arms.

"Are you sure you can stand to see those two fight?" Haymitch asked.

My heart started to ache.

"I don't know but I can't just **not **see it."

I took a deep breath and headed toward the living room. And wished I hadn't. Peeta was on top of Gale, punching his already bloody face.

"You won't hurt her anymore!" He shouted. "I won't let you!"

"Peeta, stop it!" I screamed.

He looked at me in shock.

"Katniss…."

I ran across the room to them.

"Please, just stop, Peeta. Please." I begged, tears filling my eyes once again.

His expression never changed, but when I repositioned Jake once more to reach a hand out to help Peeta up. He took it and slowly rose from Gale.

Gale groaned and slowly opened his eyes. I think he was unconscious and was just now waking up. I helped him to the couch.

"Haymitch," I began, heading towards him, still in the entry way by the stairs. "Can you put Jake in bed for me?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart." He said, but looked uncomfortable as he took Jake.

I went back towards the guys.

"I'm going to the kitchen to get the First Aid Kit." I told them, heading to the kitchen.

**Peeta POV**

I followed her into the kitchen, confused and a bit ticked off. I needed answers.

I watched her grab the First Aid Kit out of the cainet. She turned around and saw me. I don't what expression I had on my face, but it was enough to make her grow pale.

"I'm sorry." She said, leaning on the counter for support.

I wanted to hold her, to comfort her that moment, but I put that, and most of my anger aside so I could ask my questions.

"Why protect him?" I asked. "He deserved every bit I gave him and more."

"I know."

"Then why?" I asked again.

"Because I care about him. I don't forgive him, but I care about him. There's reasons he has this control over me: My past with him, are old closeness, even Jake, are reasons that I'm tied to him. He has this control over me and I hate it." She started to cry.

I went over and held her as she cried. Without having the counter to lean on, she started to sink to the floor, so I held her up.

"I hate it." She repeated.

I held her for a while till she sighed.

"Come on." She said, grabbing the First Aid Kit and headed towards the living room. I followed her out.

**Gale POV**

The house is dead quiet, so of course I heard everything Katniss said to him. I feel bad that I've caused her so much pain and anguish. She is right about one: We are tied to each other. That will never change so she'll never get rid of me.

But I have to change the way I've been acting. I need to control my anger. I can't keep hurting her like this. I will change. For her. And I will get her back. I don't know how, but I will.

I watched Katniss walk back into room with him.

**Katniss POV**

We were back in the living room. Peeta sat on the recliner while I tended to Gale. I had him keep a clothe to his nose till the bleeding stopped while I cleaned his cuts. When the bleeding stopped, I cleaned the dry blood off his face.

"Think you'll be ok now?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He said quietly.

"Can you get home ok?"

"Yep." He said, getting up from the couch, wincing.

I looked at him worriedly.

"Let me walk you to the door."

We walked silently walked out of the room to the from door. We paused for a moment, still silent.

"I'm sorry." He said, then left.

Despite everything, I felt bad for him. I shouldn't but I do. I sighed and went back into the living room. And saw Peeta trying to clean a deep cut in his arm. My heart sank. I felt horrible. Even more than before. I was so busy thinking of myself and taking care of Gale that I didn't notice Peeta was hurt.

I hurried over to him and hugged him, being careful of his arm. He held me as I spoke.

"I'm sorry, I should of seen that you were hurt."

"Don't be sorry. I'm fine. I'm just glad your ok." He said, in between kisses.

I still felt bad, but when we broke away, I was able to control myself enough to check his wound.

"You're going to need stitches." I told him, grabbing the medtron out of the kit ( A/N: Its what I'm calling a Capital product that gives instant stitches). I glided it over his cut and watched the stitches appear in place.

"There." I said. "How did you guys get the cuts anyway?"

"Probably when we fell into the TV… or was it when we crashed into the mirror?" He asked himself.

"What?" I look over at the TV, then the mirror, and sure enough, they were totaled. I took deep breathes to calm myself.

"Lets get to sleep." He said, picking me up bridle style. I was too tired to protest. When we got upstairs, he laid me gently on the bed and laid beside me. I laid in his arms with my hands over my stomach, thinking.

"Peeta?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Gale would harm our baby?" I asked, not sure if I was being paranoid or not.

His body stiffened.

"I won't let him." He promised.

"I know, but do you think he'd try?" I asked.

He was silent for a minute.

"I don't know." He finally answered.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Chapter 10 is ready! I really wish I could have gotten it up sooner, but oh well. Btw, I have a favor to ask you all. It'll be at the bottom A/N. Here's the people I need to thank this time:**

_97hollster- For commenting, not just this time, but others. Thanks __J_

_MellarkIsJHutch- For commenting and adding me to your author alerts and favs. __J_

_To the following people for adding my story to their favs:_

_Darknashecullen _

_Divergentlove7522_

_LiveForMex3_

_To the following people who added my story to their alerts:_

_katnissmellark87_

_Angelicaamy_

_WonderWoman9522_

_mcphersonraina_

_Beebrittany_

Its been two months since Gale tried to kidnap me and Jake. Despite everything, I forgave him once again. I've seen him often since then. I'm not back with him or anything, but I decided to let him see Jake. At first we started with him coming over to see Jake. I stayed in the room to make sure he wouldn't try to take Jake.

Peeta always stayed away to avoid Gale. For me, they have both been trying to tolerate each other, they've been having a little trouble with it. I guess they hate each other that much. Peeta, of course , doesn't trust Gale so he stays in rooms close by, like the kitchen. We mostly stayed in the livingroom.

Now, we go hang out in town or go to Hazelle's. Just the three of us, which Peeta hasn't been too thrilled about, to say the least. Especially because of our baby. I'm three months along now and starting to show.

Which make Peeta all the more protective. Its only natural, especially because Gale might try to hurt our baby. Each day, Gale tries not to look at my belly, but sometimes he does, despite his efforts not to. At the that moment, you can see how he feels from his eyes. Anger. Pain. But even more clearly: Disgust. He's disgusted with me and Peeta's baby for living. Because she represents what we did to give it life.

Those moments only last a second or two, so quick that, at first, I thought I just imagined it. When I finally accepted what I was seeing, I confided in Peeta.

"Its really starting to scare me." I told him.

We were laying down on the couch, me in his arms. His hands were on my belly.

"You should stay away from him." He held me tighter.

"I have to be around him. Jake deserves to have his father in his life and I'm still not comfortable with them alone together."

"How can you trust him around you guy? Especially after what he did to you?"

I snuggled closer to him.

"He said won't do it again. He knows he can't afford to screw up like that again."

"And you believe him?" He asked, a bit angry, though I could tell he was trying to stay calm.

I hid my face in his chest.

"I just want things to be ok." I whispered.

He sat us both up and put me on his lap.

"Things will be ok." He told me, stroking my hair.

That was when we heard Jake crying from upstairs. I got off his lap and stood up.

"I'll take care of Jake."

"No, you should relax." He told me. "I can take care of Jake."

I laughed.

"That's all I do when I'm home. I want to spend some time with him today anyway." I gave him a quick kiss and headed upstairs.

When I got to Jake's room, I picked him up out of his crib. He stopped crying instantly and smiled at me. I ruffled his dark brown hair and kissed him on the forehead.

"Want to play with some toys, Jakie?" I asked him and set him on the floor by his toy chest.

I opened it up and Jake pulled out his favorite toy: his stuffed puppy with the leash- and a bag of blocks. I poured the blocks on the floor and . He stacked them and made a little pyramid of six blocks. His big blue eyes looked up at me, as if seeking approval. I smiled at him.

"Good boy." I told him and kissed him on his head. He giggled.

I started to stare at the window. It was snowing, which is to be expected, since Christmas was next week. It'll be my first Christmas with Peeta. Though, I never imagined it be like this: Us with my son, who's also Gale's, not Peeta's, and are own baby on the way, but it didn't make it a bad thing.

Life has always been difficult for me, especially since my dad died. Things have just been more complicating since the reaping. I put my hand on my little bulge. But I will make it through like I always have. I have to because, the more time that passes, the more people I have to try to protect and be there for.

Jake sprung me from my thoughts when he started crying and repeatedly patted me on my knee. Instead of sitting on the floor, he was now sitting on my lap.

"What's wrong, Jakie?" I asked him. He then scooted off my lap and his stuffed puppy. He rammed them into his blocks and they flew everywhere. He smiled up at me, once again, for approval. I laughed for him. He just wanted my attention.

"Having fun?" I asked him.

He continued to smile and used his toy box to help him stand up. He has been able to stand for a while now, but he is still a bit wobbly when he tries to walk and often falls. He took his little truck out ant and plopped it on the ground to play with it.

After a moment, I put him on my lap and held him close, thankful for him, despite the drama he came with. I don't know what came over me, but I kept thinking the same thing in my head. My baby. My poor baby boy. I will love you long past your death. That was when Peeta came in.

**A/N: So did you like this chapter? Anyway, here's the favor: I have a story on another website I want your opinions on. Can you guys check it out?**

**Here's the link: .com/4701598-forbidden-world**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hey guys! I have more people to thank:**

_Mellark's Heart__- For comment and helping with the story when I needed it__J_

_97hollster__- For commenting and being a long-time reader J_

_ipj9__- For adding my story to your favs._

_maryssamcfadden__- For adding my story to your alerts._

How long has Peeta been in the room? I didn't know. He walked over to Jake and me and held us both. He kissed away tear I didn't know I had shed. We were like that till Jake fell asleep in our arms, then I got up, gave him a kiss on his head, and put him in his crib. I stood there and kept smoothing his dark hair back. Peeta came over and wrapped his arms around me , his hands over my stomach.

"You're thinking about it." He stated.

"They want to kill my baby boy." I turned to him. "Of course I'm thinking about. They want to kill him and our baby. They will because of me. If I would have just died in that arena, none of this would have happened."

"Don't you ever say that again." He said strongly, holding me tight. "Never regret living. Never."

He held me close and stroked my hair. He kissed me on my forehead before he spoke.

"I will save them." He promised.

"Don't , just don't bring that up." I begged, pulling away.

"Please."

"Do you really have such little faith in me?" His voice rose.

I winced at his words. My eyes filled with tears that I wouldn't let fall. I refused to break down.

"I don't want you wasting time over this obsession." My voice rose too.

"Its not wasting time if I save them! Do you want them to die?" He yelled.

"Of course I don't! I love them more than anything!" I screamed back.

Our screaming ended up waking Jake. I picked him up and calmed him, then laid him back down to sleep. I turned back to Peeta.

"Saving them requires beating the Capitol. Nobody beats the Capitol and trying willing will just keep you killed.. I can't lose you too." I shook my head and broke down in tears.

He brought me back into his arms and walked us out of the room so we wouldn't wake Jake. We went down the hall to our bedroom. He sat us down on the bed and continued to hold me while I sobbed into his arms. When my sobs quieted, he spoke.

"That won't happen. I won't get killed."

"You don't know that."

We were silent for a while, then he sighed.

"Ok, I won't."

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"I'll enjoy what time we have with them. I won't waste time with plans." He place a hand on my belly and kissed me.

"Thank you." I said, snuggling into him.

We were like that for a while till I feel asleep in his arms, tired from yelling and crying.

**Peeta POV**

Katniss just fell asleep. I laid her on the bed and pulled the blanket over her. I laid next to her and stroked her hair, lost in thought.

God, I hope she'll forgive me. For deceiving her. For lying to her. I have no intention of stop trying to save our kids. Jake is just as much my son as the new baby will be my child, despite Gale really being his father. I will save Jake and the baby, even if it takes my life, but it won't come to that; I know it won't.

I will keep sneaking over to Haymitch's to discuss plans. I can't do it often; I don't want her to find out. Also, she is right about one thing: I can't waste the time I have with Jake and the baby. I will make plans to save them and spend time with them. Though I can't let Katniss know that I'm still trying to save them; It would just hurt her and make her even more worried. I want her to be happy. That's my top priority. I won't neglect my plans to save our kids, but I will make her happy. I still feel guilty for this.

Surely she'll forgive me when I save them. Right?


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: More ppl to thanks ****J :**

_GleekyPotterGames- For adding my story to you're alerts and favs._

_Bluedog270- For adding my story to your alerts and favs and adding me to your author favs and alerts._

_sbolzzz- For adding my story to your favs and alerts._

_stlygr21- For adding my story to your favs._

_lime-cola- For adding my story to your favs._

_MellarkIsJHutch_- _For commenting yet again J_

_Mellark's Heart For commenting and helping me with the story __J_

Christmas Eve: Very busy day. Cooking and cleaning needed done. Presents needed put under the tree. Peeta didn't want me to do anything but rest. His been treating me like fragile china even more than usual since our fight a couple days ago. He probably thinks he has to make amends for our fight or something, which he doesn't. As long as he sticks to his promise about him stop wasting time, that he will enjoy the time we have with our kids instead of fighting it, then we're ok.

Though, I do kind of like how Peeta treats me like he is. Its really sweet. But also a bit annoying. Like earlier, he kept insisting that I go up stairs and take a nap while he gets things ready. I wasn't going to do that.

"Peeta, I'm pregnant, not disabled." I gave him a kiss.

He brought me into his arms.

"I know." He said when we broke our kiss. "I just think you need to relax more. Stress isn't good for you two."

He put his hand on my baby bump.

"I know and you're being really sweet, but I want to help get everything ready."

He sigh, then chuckled.

"So stubborn." He smiled.

So now I'm getting everything clean. Peeta's in the kitchen cooking because that's one of his specialties. I'm glad he can cook because he hasn't been letting me lately. That's another time when he get on my nerves when he treats me this way. Overall, I can handle it though.

I just finished sweeping the livingroom. I headed over to the electronic pad on the wall. I looked at the list to see when everybody'll be here:

_Cinna and Portia with prep teams: 5:30 pm_

_Effie: 5:30 pm _

_Haymitch: 5:45 pm_

_Mom and Prim: 6:30 pm_

_Peeta's Family: 6:45_

_Gale and his family: 6:50 pm_

_Dinner at 7:00_

I looked at the clock. 5:29 pm. I did a quick look through the house and checked on Jake in his playpen I put in the livingroom. When the door bell rang, I hurried to answer it. I opened the door and was greeted by Effie, Cinna, Portia, and the prep teams. I welcomed them in and Portia and the prep teams when straight to Jake and started playing with him. He seemed to love the attenion.

I turned back to Effie and Cinna. I haven't seen them in so long. I did get to talk to Effie on the phone last month though. She wanted to set up a late Victor Tour. We weren't able to have it when we were supposed to because I pregnant with Jake. I had to tell her that I was pregnant again so we still couldn't have the Victory Tour and let her know it was Peeta's this time.

"Oh Katniss!" She said happily when she came in and gave me a hug. "You're glowing! And still look gorgeous!"

"Thanks. Its good to see you, Effie." I gave her a smile.

I looked over to smile at Cinna. He smiled sadly back at me. Sad? Why's he sad? I was about to ask when Effie spoke again.

"Oh, I have the best news for you-"

"I think its best I tell her, Effie." Cinna interrupted.

"But I-"

"You should go meet Jake. He'd love to meet his Aunty Effie." I told her, trying to help Cinna.

"You're right!" She squealed and rushed over to Jake , yelling "Jakie, Aunty Effie's coming!"

I turned back to Cinna.

"Ok, so what's the news."

"Can we talk somewhere more private?" He asked.

"Sure." I was getting worried.

I took him upstairs to the study.

"Ok, so what do you want to tell me?"

His face became unreadable.

"The Capital knows about your baby. Effie told President Snow at a special dinner for Hunger Games staff. He told Effie that he wanted you to have the best medical care for when its born, so wants you to stay in the Capital till its born. I don't know what he's really planning. I'm sorry, Katniss."

My legs became weak and Cinna caught me before I fell. He lowered us to the ground. I sobbed in my hands and started to hyperventilate. Cinna put his arms around and tried to calm me.

"I'm supposed have more time with my baby." I kept repeating between sobs. When Cinna finally calmed me down a bit, I spoke.

"Do they just want me?" I asked.

"No, Jake and Peeta, too."

"Can you get Peeta and handle things downstairs for me?

"Of course." He said, then put both hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Everything's going to be ok, Katniss."

He kissed me on the forehead and left. Please let him be right, please.

I went back to crying as I waited for Peeta.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N****: Next chapter! I hope you like it! I have more people to thank, too:**

_Bluedog270- For commenting __J_

_97hollster- For commenting __J_

_Eekabeeka- For commenting , adding my story to you're alerts and having a unique name :D_

_Smashley77- For adding my story to you're alerts __J_

_Bree Trip-Annytts- For adding my story to you're alerts__J_

_Mockingjay Rue-For adding my story to you're alerts__J_

**And a Special Thanks To:**

_Percabeth's Daughter- For commenting, adding my story to your alert, and adding me and my story to your favs. I really liked your comment by the way._

**Peeta POV**

I was talking to my brothers, Matthew and Mark, but my mind was on Katniss. Effie said she was talking to Cinna earlier and hasn't seen them since. They've been gone for a while; everyone's already here.

Just then, Cinna entered the room and walked over to me.

"Hey, Peeta. How's it going? I was hoping to get you look at some of my new designs." He said, dragging me out of the room.

When we were alone, he looked back at me.

"This has nothing to do with designs, ok? I need to talk to you."

My heart sank when he told me about the Capitol making us stay with them. Will they kill all of us? Or just Jake and the baby? I became angry. We were supposed to have more time. I started to head back to the livingroom when Cinna stopped me.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Haymitch. I can't let this happen."

"Katniss needs you."

I froze.

"She knows?"

"yes, that's why I came to get you."

"Damn it, why the _hell_ did you tell her?"

"She has the right to know. She's stronger than she looks….remember that when you see her." He went back into the livingroom.

What the hell do I do? Do I go upstairs and comfort Katniss or go get Haymitch to help save Jake and the baby?

**Katniss POV**

I was still crying. Its been five minutes. Where's Peeta? I need him right now. Just then, Peeta came in. I ran to him and held on to him, as if for dear life.

"Peeta, the Capitol, they-"

"Cinna told me." He put his arms around me. "Everything's going to be ok."

I pulled away and looked up at him.

"You keep saying that, but you don't really know. I don't need you lying to me, Peeta."

"Then what do you need from me?"

I went back into his arms.

"Just stay with me for a while." I whispered.

I knew we had people downstairs that we should be with, but I wasn't ready to tell everyone or pretend that nothings wrong.

"Ok." He answered.

He took us over to the couch and we laid down. I laid my head on his chest. After a bit, my tears slowed. Peeta had been lost in thought till he spoke.

"You know, I think we'll be ok, that we'll come back. I don't think they'll try anything."

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Because they need Jake for their Games and us and the baby to keep the Capitol happy. I don't think they'll try anything yet."

"Lets hope so." I looked at the clock. We've been up her for 15 minutes. I wiped my eyes

"We need to get downstairs for dinner." I told him, sitting up.

"What should we tell them?"

I thought about it for a moment.

"Nothing yet." I answered. "We'll pretend everything's ok so we don't ruin Christmas. We're leaving with Cinna and the others on the 27th; I'll tell Mom and Prim before we leave and have them tell the others. Now, lets go downstairs.'

He put his arm around my waist and we went downstairs.

"Sorry about the wait, guys. We can eat dinner now."

We ate and, surprisingly , it was like a normal family dinner. It definitely wasn't quiet, that's for sure. Rory kept trying to tickle Jake and Posy while they ate. Matt and Mark kept teasing people, mainly Peeta. Karon **( A/N: its what I'm calling Peeta's Mom)** was gossiping with Hazelle and my mom. Gale was joking around with the prep teams, mostly Flavius. I talked to Prim most of the time; she was stuck to me like glue. It was great. I wish we could spend as much time as we used to, but since I'm a mom now, soon of two, its obviously not going to happen. Still, the more time, the better.

Overall, Christmas Eve was the best. I almost forgot that we were going to be shipped to the Capital soon. Almost. It loomed over my head for the entire night. Though I did try to enjoy myself and have fun. Who knows when I'll ever have this chance again?

The next day, Christmas, the kids really wanted to open presents as soon as they woke up, especially Gale's brothers, Rory and Vick. We told them that they had to wait out of breakfast though. We had my favorite: Pancakes. I was happy that I was able to eat them without feeling sick. After breakfast, we let the kids open their present. Rory and Vick got footballs. Prim got a new dress. Posy got a little Cabbage Patch Kid doll. Peeta and I bought Jake a toy train and more toy cars. Gale made him a rocking horse, which Jake adored. I thought it was sweet of him to make it for Jake and told him and thanked him.

"No problem." He said.

But what bothered me was his eyes, they were too careful. He was trying not to look at my stomach. Was I the only one who noticed it? I stole a glance at Peeta and saw from his expression that he noticed too. It brought back my earlier fears. Would Gale hurt my baby? I pushed the thought aside. For all I know, the Capitol might beat Gale to it so I shouldn't worry what Gale might do yet.

Everyone, except our Capitol guests, went home later in the day. Peeta and I started packing.

**Gale POV**

I've been out here in the woods since I left Katniss's place. I was sitting on the rock we would meet at when we used to hunt together. I miss those days. Its all my fault that they ended. When Katniss came back from the Games, I was so scared of losing her, that something else would go wrong, that I rushed things between us. I rushed her into a relationship and rushed her into having sex without thinking of the consequences.

Then she told me that she was pregnant with Jake and saw him as another way to keep her with me, to control her. I threw her and hurt her for not marry me. I tried kidnapping her for not coming back to me. I hate myself for all of it. I put my head in my hands.

And now she's pregnant with-with that thing, _his baby._ It makes me sick to think about it. To see her like that. It seems so wrong to me for her to be pregnant with a baby that isn't mine, especially with it being _his_. He did that to the girl I love.

And now she loves that thing she carries. And him. How can so much go wrong in such a little amount of time? I want her and Jake back. Maybe if that thing she carries wasn't around, then she'd come back to me…..it gives me ideas.

**A/N: I just want to make it clear that Gale is **_**not **_**a bad person, just crazy. Now what do you think: Will Gale hurt the baby? Comment and tell me what you think.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Chapter 14 is ready! Here are the people I need to thank this time:**

_**For Commenting**__-_

_MellarkIsJHutch_

_Bluedog270_

_97hollster_

_eekabeeka_

_everlasting1286_

_GleekyPotterGames_

_**For adding my story to your Alerts-**_

_laceyclark_

_kosmo44_

_ILovePeetaMellark1998_

_**And thanks to naddles123 for adding my story to her favs and alerts.**_

**Katniss POV**

Today's the day we leave for the Capitol. I want to scream, cry, hide-anything to not go, but I know none of it would work, so I've been trying to stay calm. We're leaveing in half an hour, so I'm heading to Mom's to tell her and Prim. I hope Prim's home from school.

I opened the door to Mom's and hollered for her. She came out of her bedroom.

"Hi, Honey."

"Hey Mom, where's Prim.?" I asked.

"Well… I guess I'll just tell you then."

"Tell me what?" She could tell it was bad

Let's go in the living room." I told her.

We sat on the couch in the living room. We were quiet at first.

"So, what do you need to tell me?"

I took a deep breath.

"I have to leave for the Capital today. Peeta and Jake are coming too. The Capital wants me to give birth there." I wouldn't let myself cry.

Mom stared blankly at me.

"What?'

"You heard me right, Mom."

"Katniss…" She whispered.

"I need listen to me, ok?"

She continued to stare blankly. I shook her by her shoulders.

"Mom!"

Her eyes snapped up to mine, filled with pain and fear.

"Don't break down, don't leave Prim-"

"I won't-"

"I'm serious. I heard you did ok while I was at the Games. I need you to be like that now." I tried to be strong.

"Ok." She started to tear up.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

The front door opened.

"Mom, I'm home." Prim called.

She walked into the living room and froze. She knew something wasn't right.

"What went wrong now?" She asked.

Her eyes darkened. I haven't seen them like that since I left for the Games. I felt like breaking down, but I kept strong. I told her to come sit on my lap. She protested at first, saying she was too old for that. She's right of course, but I want her sit like this one more time. For all I know, I could be dead soon. I was thankful that my belly didn't take up too much lap space or else Prim couldn't have sat down.

"I'm going away for a while."

"Where?"

I paused then forced myself to say it.

"The Capitol. They think its best to have my baby there for… medical reason. Peeta and Jake are coming with me and we should be back after the baby is born. We're leaving as soon as I get back."

She was silent for a while.

"They're doing it again." She said, angrily, which surprised me. I've never seen her angry before.

"What?" I asked.

"They're taking you away again! They're going to hurt you again!"

"No, Prim," I tried to calm her down. "I'll be fine."

"You won't! You're going to the Capitol! They're bad! I don't need you lying to me again!" She rose from my lap.

"When did I lie to you before?"

"Before the reaping. You said ' Its your first year, Prim. They're not going to pick you.' She mimicked. "And what did they do? They picked me. You taking my place didn't make up for lying to me, it only made things worse." She started to cry, but was still angry.

"I had to try to figure out how to live without you as I watched you fight for your life." She whispered.

"I'm sorry, Prim, but-"

"But nothing. I don't need your lies! I need you to stay with me!" She ran to her room and slammed the door.

Despite my best efforts, I started to cry. I turned to Mom, noticing that she hasn't said a thing, and saw her staring at her hands. I searched the room for a pen and piece of paper. I wrote Prim a note and gave it to Mom. She looked up.

"Please. Give it to Prim when she calms down."

She nodded.

"And could you tell Gale and Ben **(A/N: That's the name I'm using for Peeta's dad.)** that we're leaving?"

"Sure." She nodded again and, after hesitating for a moment, gave me a hug. I fell into her hug like I did when I was little, like before my dad died.. Then, reluctantly, I broke the hug and left.

**A/N: Does everyone else see how strange it was that Prim got so angry? I thought it would make things more interesting if she had a moment where you see a different side of Prim, ya know? Comment and tell me what you think about the chapter! ****J**


	15. Chapter 15

I went home and we all put our luggage on the porch. Or rather, Peeta, Cinna, and Flavius did. The Capitol women felt that it 'wasn't their place' to carry anything. I wanted to help, but Peeta told me to just sit and relax with Effie and the others. I was so annoyed, but I didn't argue; it was of those pick-my-own battle-moments and I decided it wasn't worth fighting about and listened to him.

Haymitch came by with his suitcase, saying that he's decided to come with us. Nobody complained. I, at least, was comforted by the fact the he was coming. I felt safer that he was coming with us. Not that he could do much if the Capitol did decide to kill us, but still…it's Haymitch. He'll do what he can to help us.

The Peacekeepers came and loaded our luggage in the car. Unfortunately, so did Gale. Everybody, except Peeta and I, were in the car. I handed Jake to Venia and Peeta started to help me in. Gale yanked me away from the car and Peeta.

"You're not going to take our son there! Are you trying to get him killed?" He yelled at me.

Peeta pried me away and shouted back.

"Don't you _ever_ lay a hand on her!"

"You can go to hell. This has nothing to do with you."

"It has _everything_ to do with me when it involves Katniss."

"Please, don't fight." I begged.

Gale didn't seem to hear me, but Peeta gave me a look that showed me that he did; he looked so conflicted. He wanted to protect me from Gale, but didn't want to upset me. Oh, Peeta.

I quickly went to the front seat and asked the Peacekeepers to take care of Gale. They dragged him away and new Peacekeepers soon replaced them. We drove to the train station.

"What did he mean about Jake getting killed?" Effie asked on the way.

"Yeah, is he crazy?" Octavia asked.

Guiltily, I lied and said that he was crazy. I didn't know what else to tell them and I couldn't let them know the truth. Effie and the prep teams have been out of the loop for so long and I think its best that it stays that way.

When we got to the station, we got on the train that took us to the Capital last time. I looked out the window and watched my home disappear behind us, feeling, once again, as if it's the last time I'll see it.

**Prim POV**

I stayed in my room for hours and wouldn't even let Mom in. I've been sitting on the bed that Katniss and I used to share and hugged Buttercup. Mom tried to coax me out for the 8th time today.

"Come on, honey, dinner's ready."

"I'm not coming out." I said for the 8th time.

She sighed.

"Then will you eat in there? Please?"

"…Fine…"

I opened the door and took the plate from Mom.

"One more thing." She reached into the pocket of her apron and brought out a folded piece of paper.

"It's from Katniss." She told me, giving it to me.

I closed my door and sat down on my bed to read it:

_Prim,_

_ I'm so sorry. All I ever wanted to do was protect you. You reminded me today that I haven't done a very good job. No matter how hard I try, you kept getting hurt and it's the Capital's doing. Daddy died because the Capitol forced him to work in the mines. I couldn't protect you, or Mom, from it. That was the first time I failed you._

_ The second time was at the reaping. I was so certain that you wouldn't be picked, so certain that you were safe, that I didn't even bother to worry about you. That was my mistake, but I truly failed you earlier that day. Gale said we should grab you, Mom, and his family and runaway, live out in the woods. We both had a bad feeling and we thought it was because one of us would be chosen. I never dream it would be you. I told Gale no, that we should stay. That was the moment I failed you a second time._

_ Now, I've failed you again. I knew the consequences of me having kids and , though I didn't try for Jake or the new baby, I didn't prevent them either. Now, the Capital has plans for me and my kids, even Peeta. And while we are gone to face them, you suffer at home alone once again. You did the same when I was in the Games, didn't you? But I don't regret my kids or taking your place in the Games. Those are things I would never change._

_ Prim, I don't know if I'll be back this time, but please listen to me. You remember our song, right? The Meadow song? I used to sing it to you to chase your nightmares away. Whenever you're sad and miss me, I want you to sing it. It'll be like a part of me there with you, I promised. I know you think I lie to you, but please, listen to me now. It should make you feel better._

_ Love you always,_

_ Katniss_

I stared at the paper and hugged it to my chest. I feel really bad how I acted to Katniss now. I tried to shake that feeling off. Katniss didn't write that to make me feel bad, she wrote it to comfort me and help me understand. I went to sit it on the stand next to my food when it fell to the floor. I noticed writing on the back and read it:

_P.S,_

_ Here's the phone numbers to call me if you ever need to talk. I hope you call._

_ Train Phone Number: 419-854-5926_

_ Capital House Number: 623-984-6132_

I put it back on my stand.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow…" I sang myself to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry, last chapter I totally forgot to thank ppl, so today I'm going to thank the ppl I should have last chapter and this chapter:**

**Last Chapter****:**

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**Sorry that I have the thanks written like this. I'll go back to writing them like I used to next chapter, k? Until then, enjoy this chapter ****J**** This is a very important chapter because….**

**IT WAS CO-AUTHORED BY MELLARK'S HEART, A FAN SINCE THE BEGINNING!**

**I tweaked at this chapter a bit , but most credit for this chapter goes to Mellark's Heart. I gave her a character of her own named Alina. I might let other longtime fans do the same, if they want to and if I can fit another character in the story. Please give thanks to Mellark's Heart for her awesomeness in this chapter ****J**

**DISCLAIMER****: I unfortunately don't own Hunger Games, but ideas in here that didn't happen in the books or movies I do own and certain characters, like Jake, Alina, and Katniss and Peeta's baby, I do own.**

**Alina POV**

I close my new book as I think of every wonderful story and character out there. I am so excited. Today I'm meeting a real famous person! Katniss Everdeen, the female victor of the 74th Hunger Games! I'm going to sneak out to see her though because my grandpa doesn't seem to like her. I wonder why. He always seemed to like her on TV, but maybe its part of his job to act that way. He is the president after all.

I take a bath and brush my dark long hair. I put on a pair of dark jeans and my favorite flower shirt on. My dad is at work and my mother and sister aren't home right now. They told me they were going shopping. My sister, she's 19 years old; she has blonde hair and green eyes, like my father.

I look myself in the mirror and watch that my skin is paler than usual. I walk down the stairs and notice that something's on the table. There is a bouquet of white Alcatraz with a card in it. I walk to the table and read the card that is with them.

_For my favorite grandchild, Alina._

_With love,_

_Grandpa Coriolanus _

My grandfather, I don't like him very much. He is a bit annoying sometimes, but he gets me really cool gifts so that's the great thing of me being his favorite grandchild. My father, he's the main supporter of my grandfather's ideas. They are good ideas, he says that if the districts give the things each one produces to the Capitol, they will be more chances that Panem could be a better country. I know that some districts are poorer than others. My grandfather says that it is because they don't want to cooperate so they don't have the part that will make them as rich as District 1 or District 2.

My father says that I should listen to my grandfather , but I don't want to. I can't stand him or my father! Though my mom says that he just sticks to what he believes and that he'd like to help keep Panem going. But I can't bring myself to believe what they believe in. I just get a bad feeling about their beliefs, though I don't know why.

I look at the clock and notice that I should get going to the mansion that Katniss is staying at soon. I'm sure she'll like me. After all, the presidents granddaughter _and_ her biggest fan !

The greatest thing is that she is going to live 2 blocks away from my house, maybe we will be best friends and meet every day. She's just 2 or 3 years older than me, so there's no problem. When my ex-best friend finds out with whom I'm friends with, she will regret that she didn't invite me to her birthday party last month.

I sit at the dining room and the chef makes me the meal. I drink my soda and leave the plates so the maid would pick them up.

There's an hour left so I go to the piano and play for a while. I close my blue eyes, losing myself in the melody and thinking of a book that reminds me of this song. A love story, I sigh. I just love the feeling of love. How loyal, crazy and even how stupid love can make anyone. I think that's why I think of Katniss as my favorite victor. She didn't want to live without Peeta. I knew they loved each other, just by the look in their eyes, how they hugged and kissed in the cave and all. Their life isn't as public as it was just after they won the Games. I want to ask her every detail of how everything is going. I know she has a son, they say that it's from Gale, her childhood friend, but I think it is secretly Peeta's. I wonder if they'll have another kid?

My mother told me that she would come home later, so I have enough time to sneak out and go to meet Katniss.

My father doesn't like me meeting victors. He says that since they probably know that I'm the President's granddaughter I would be in danger. But he doesn't know anything about today. So this will stay a secret… from him and my family.

It is 4:15, I will arrive just in time to meet Katniss at 4:30 and no one will know.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Next chapter! And more ppl to thank ****J :**

**For commenting:**

_otterhoundgirl_

_iAMRUE-and-Clove _

_Bluedog270_

_Mellark's Heart_

**For adding my story to their favs:**

_Mockingjay Rue_

_Beekay111_

**And for adding my story to their alerts:**

_ThexBoyxWithxThexBread_

**Now let the chapter begin! J**

We've been here for a week so far and things have been…peaceful. Better than I could have hoped for. We've been a staying in a mansion in the housing district of the Capitol that's only for victors. We're surrounded by mansions owned by other victors, but none are here. Its just Peeta, Jake, and me, along with our maids, in such a big home. Haymitch lives, as you'd expect, right next door. He explained earlier this week that the rest of the victors usually only come for the Games. They could come whenever they want, but they choose to stay away. I wish we had the freedom to stay away.

The day we got here, we had a guest.

"Excuse me, Miss Katniss?" Our head maid, Diamond, asked. She's in her mid-twenties and has light violet, poofy and straight, and bright orange eyes.

I was in the living room with Peeta, laying in his arms, watching Jake play with his toys, mostly his racking horse. I was still scared that I was here in the Capitol, so I jumped when Diamond spoke.

"Y-yes?" I asked her.

"Miss Alina Snow is here to see you."

I froze and Peeta held me tighter.

"Snow?"

"Yes, Miss. She's the president's granddaughter. She'd like to meet you."

I took a deep breath.

"Send her to the white parlor." I told her. "I'll be there in a moment."

Diamond gave me this look, one that said she couldn't understand why I'd be anything but thrilled that the president's granddaughter wanted to meet me, then nodded.

"Yes, Miss." Then she left.

I laid there for another moment in Peeta's arm's, then, with Peeta's help, sat up and laid my hands over my stomach. I sighed.

"Jakie, come to Mommy." I told him and watched him walk a bit wobbly to me. I picked him up and he gave me a smile. I smiled back at him, then turned to Peeta.

"I'll be back." I told him and gave him a quick kiss then stood up.

He stood up too.

"I'm coming with you." He said. "You're not going to be in the same room as a Snow without me."

"Peeta, its just his granddaughter-"

"But-"

"Peeta," I repositioned Jake in my arms to lay my right hand on Peeta's cheek. "I'll be ok. Just please. At least this once."

"Why?"

"Because its unnecessary." And I really meant that. I knew what fear I still had about this was irrational.

"Please." I begged.

Begging is normally something I'd avoid, but I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't like I could drug like I did back in the cave in the arena, so begging was my last resort.

Peeta sighed.

"Just this once," He said. "but if any of you three grt hurt then I swear I'll never let you out of my sight again."

I was going to thank him when he kissed me. I kissed back till he broke away to give Jake a kiss on the top of his head, which made him giggle. Then, to my surprised, kissed my baby bump, as a way to kiss our baby.

He wrapped his arms around us and I let it stay that way for a moment. I don't know what I did to deserve Peeta, but I hope life lets me keep him.

I broke away from him and told him I'd see him later. I headed to the white parlor, wishing I hadn't pick a room on the other side of the mansion.

I opened the door and was immediately glomped by the small girl **(A/N: to be glomped means someone ran, jumped, and hugged you. Me and my friends used the word and dictionary websites define it so I think it's a word.)** She was nothing like I expected. She was tiny, maybe about 5'3 with black hair and blue eyes. She looked like a high-class lolita.

"Its really you!" She said, hugging me tightly. Then she look up at me and saw Jake.

"He's so cute! His name's Jake, right?"

"Yeah." I smiled, my earlier fear gone. "And I heard your name is Alina."

I walked us over to the couch and we sat down with Jake on my lap.

"Yep." She said then her smile fell. "I'm sorry I just dropped by without asking, especially when you don't know me. I just really wanted to meet you."

She stared down at her hands. I chuckled to make her smile again.

"It's ok. I'm really glad you came. I've been so bored."

She smiled again.

"So, how old are you?"

"Thirteen. I'm small for my age so I know I don't look like it."

We spent about two hours asking each other questions. I soon found out that she didn't know I was pregnant so I told her. She was excited and said that I didn't look like a big pregnant lady. It really made me feel better to hear that. I've felt so self-conscious it lately, like I did with Jake. I know its stupid to feel that way and normally I wouldn't care about how I look. I guess I'm just extra sensitive when I'm pregnant.

Jake ended up falling asleep in the first hour so I had a maid bring down his crib; I didn't want to leave Alina to put Jake to bed and I didn't trust the maids enough for them to do it. In the second hour, I braided Alina's hair the way mine was in the games, the way Mom used to do it.

It still feels so weird to say 'used to' when speaking about my old life before My Hunger Games. I'm sixteen. I should be in high school, living with my mom, and childless. But the Capitol stole that life from me. Now, instead of being a normal teenager from the Seam, I'm a mom and celebrity from the Victor's Village. Or, more currently, the Capitol.

I miss my old life, but, besides my kid's futures, I guess life isn't too bad. Hanging out with Alina has definitely been fun. At the end of the second hour, there was a knock at the door. Alina and I answered it and found Peeta on the other side.

"Are you ok?" He asked as he brought me into his arms. :You've been in here for a while."

"I'm great." I gave him a kiss and he laid a hand on my stomach.

Then we were glomped by Alina.

"Oh, I _love_ you guys together!" She said.

"Peeta looked down at her, obviously a bit weirded out, looked at me. I laughed.

'Be nice,' I mouthed to him right before I spoke.

"Peeta, this is Alina. Alina, I bet you're excited to meet him."

"Yes!" She was practically jumping up and down. "Its great to meet you!"

As you'd expect, Peeta was really charming and nice to her. I bet he made Alina feel like a million dollars, since that's how he makes everyone feel when he turns up his charisma.

Soon after, she got a call from her mom and she lied, said that she was at a friend from school's house. We found out that she snuck out and wasn't even allowed to be here. As a mom, I should have been all disapproving, but I wasn't because it wasn't like I was _her _mom. So I got to act as a teenager and be impressed. I never that a Capitol kid could have it in them to do something like that.

Before she left, I gave her the mansion's number so she can call the next time she wants to come over. I watched her leave and got lost in thought. Alina gives me such a comforting feeling, like Prim gives me and Rue did. Alina's like a new little sister.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Peeta's expression. It was an I-know-what-you're-thinking look, but a disapproving one. Defiantly not good.

We headed back to the parlor where we left Jake; we had Alina leave out Exist F so we could keep an eye on Jake. When we got back in the room, I turned to him.

"Ok, what's with the look?" I asked.

"She's not Prim, Katniss." Peeta told me.

"I know that."

"Do you really? I see what you're doing. You're projecting your feelings of your sister onto that girl because Prim isn't here."

"Peeta, what's wrong with getting close to her?"

"Besides the fact that she's a Snow? You should know: you've been living with the consequences of it." He told me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Rue."

I winced.

"You projected you're feelings of Prim onto her and then, when she died, it tore you to bits and it still tears you up inside." He screamed at me.

After a moment, he spoke more gently.

"I just don't want you to hurt anymore, Katniss. And I definitely don't want that pain doubled."

I knew he was doing this because he loves me, and cares about me, but I wasn't going to back down.

"I won't be hurt by Alina." I told him.

"Yes, you will."

"How do you know that?"

"Because this world is a fucked up place!" He went back to yelling.

I started to yell back and we argued till all the yelling woke Jake up. My face was completely wet with tears as I picked up Jake and hurried us out of the room. The first maid I found was Diamond so I had her bring Jake's crib to his room and then I had put him to bed. She spoke as we left Peeta's room.

"Miss Katniss, are you ok?"

There was no point in lying so I nodded.

"I moved the rest of the maids to the other side of the house so they word hear-clearly at least."

"Thank you."

"I wish I could have done more."

"You did what you could."

We both went to our rooms. Peeta was already asleep when I crawled in bed. I laid my head on his chest as he slept and softly cried. I've done it all week now after long days of us fighting. Why does everything have to fall apart now?

**Peeta POV**

Each night was heartbreaking. After long days of fighting, she'd wait till she thought I was asleep and cry into my chest till she fell asleep. I can't take this anymore. If she doesn't give in tomorrow then I will. Why is all of this happening? Why is the world so fucked up?


	18. Chapter 18

Its three weeks since Peeta ended our fighting. Things got better that day.

I had woken up in Peeta's arms, which was unusual for that week since I usual woke up alone. My head was laying on his chest. I glanced up to see if he was awake and found him softly stroking my hair. He stopped when he noticed that I was awake.

I looked away, not wanting the fighting to start. I hid my face in his chest and started to cry. His arms tightened around me.

"What's wrong?" He asked, alarmed.

"I don't want to fight anymore."

"Will you stay away from the girl?"

"I'll never give up Alina. I like spending time with her." I said, my face still hidden in his chest.

He sighed.

"I won't fight with you anymore."

I looked up at him.

"You won't?"

"No. I wanted to protect you from getting hurt because of that girl-"

"Alina." I interrupted. "Her name is Alina."

He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Fine, Alina. I didn't want you to get hurt because of Alina, but _I_ have hurt you in the process. I've made you so stressed which isn't good for you two."

He kissed me.

" I won't do it anymore." He promised.

Things have been great since then. Happier. Peeta started to be extra sweet again. Like he was after our fight back home. He would get things for me, take care of Jake, and made me get extra rest. Unlike last time, I wasn't so annoyed with him . I was too thankful that our fighting had ended.

Alina has been coming over everyday after school and I'd help her with her homework. I'd start to miss Prim at times like that. It seems like just yesterday I was helping Prim with her homework, but that was months ago, back when I was still with Gale.

One day, Alina took me to a very weird place. She called it a mall. It was filled with stores and people wanting my autograph. Alina bragged to everyone that she was my best friend and I told her that she was more than that, she was like a sister to me. I could tell it meant a lot to her to hear it.

I got a call from Prim the other day. She was sorry about how she talked to me before and just really wanted to see if I was ok. I told her I was and so was Jake and Peeta. I mostly listened to her talk since I really didn't have much to say. For some reason, I didn't want to tell her about Alina so I kept my mouth shut.

Overall, things have been great lately, but, if I have learned anything from life, its that all great things come to an end.


	19. Chapter 19

I'm five months now. I have a doctors appointment and Peeta and I are going to find out the sex of our baby!

Peeta and I were watching Jake play in his playroom while we waited for Cinna to come; he said he'd watch Jake while we're at the doctors.

"Miss Katniss, Mr. Peeta?" Diamond said as she came in. "Mr. Cinna is here."

"Ok, send him to the living room."

She nodded and left.

Peeta picked Jake up and we left for the living room. Jake had his little stuffed dog with him.

We met up with Cinna. I took Jake from Peeta.

"Be good for Uncle Cinna, ok, Jakie?"

Jake wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a hug then a kiss on the cheek.. Oh, my sweet baby. My eyes started to tear up and I hugged him tight. I've never really left Jake before. The closest I've done is let Peeta or Prim watch him while I took a nap. I know he'll be ok with Cinna, but still…

Peeta wiped a tear from my cheek and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey," He said gently. " He'll be ok."

"Yeah, but…"

"We'll be back soon."

"But I've never left him before. I-"

I shook my head and kissed Jake's cheek.

"I'm being irrational and dramatic, aren't I?"

"You're being a mom." Peeta told me.

I gave Jake to Cinna.

"Thanks again for this, Cinna."

"Anytime, its no problem." He said.

I smiled at him and he gave me a hug with his free arm.

"Now, go have the doc check on your little mockingjay."

I chuckled and he kissed me on my forehead.

Peeta and I said goodbye to them and left. We took a hovercar to the doctor's and was immediately brought back to a room. After a minute or two, the doctor came in. She was in her early 40s and had golden eyes and hair as yellow a crayon.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Sunny." She said, smiling and shaking our hands. I had to admit that her name matched her look.

"So you're here to find out the sex of your baby?"

"Yes." Peeta said and I nodded.

"Ok, then lets begin."

She lifted my shirt and smeared this gel on my belly. She moved this weird stick across it and an image appeared on a screen near the bed.

"That's your baby." Dr. Sunny said, pointing to the screen.

The screen didn't show any facial features, but I saw my baby's shape and when it moved. Tears of joy filled my eyes.

Dr. Sunny moved the stick around some more then smiled at us.

"And _she_ is perfectly healthy."

"_She_?" I asked.

"It's a girl." Dr. Sunny said, still smiling.

A tear slid down my cheek. I smiled up at Peeta then looked back at the screen.

"Our baby girl."

"She's beautiful." Peeta said. "Just like her mommy. And she'll be even more beautiful when she's born."

I continued to cry tears of joy and Dr. Sunny wiped the gel off my belly.

"I'll have pictures of her made for you two." She said as she left the room.

On our way home, Peeta and I tried to come up with a name for our little girl, but no named seemed good enough. I gave Alina a call to tell her the great news and tell her that she could meet us at home. She had the perfect name.

"You and your sister are named after flowers, right?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Then you should give her a flower name, too. How about Azalea and her middle name could be Rosemarie?"

"Azalea Rosemarie?"

Peeta looked over at me and I held up a finger to tell him to wait. I continued to talk on the phone with Alina.

"That's perfect! I'll talk about it with Peeta." I told her that I'd see her at the house soon and said goodbye.

I told Peeta about the name and he loved it.

"You're my little Aza now." I said to my belly. I was so happy.

To bad that my happiness ended when I got home.


	20. Chapter 20

We went inside and were greeted by Diamond.

"Welcome home." She said to us then turned to me. "You have a letter, Miss."

She handed me a letter.

"Thank you. Where's Cinna and my son?"

Down the hall in the TV room."

"Thank you." Peeta grabbed my hand and we headed to the TV room.

When we were outside the door to the room, I looked down at the letter. And froze when I saw the presidential seal on it.

"What's wrong?" Peeta asked.

I flashed him the seal and his body went tense. We sat in some chairs outside of the room and I opened the letter:

_Dearest Katniss and Peeta,_

_I have heard the joyous news of you two having a girl. More wonderful news will be announced on the news when you get back home and read this. I do so hope that you like little girls because soon you'll have a second little girl that you'll need to finish raising._

_Best Wishes,_

_President _

_Snow_

"Oh, good, Peeta." I put my head in my hands. "What does he mean?"

Peeta wrapped his arms around me and didn't speak. I tried to make sense of the letter and calm myself. How's Snow going to hurt us this time? And what girl will we have to raise other than Aza?

Cinna poked his head out into the hall.

"You guys need to see this." He said.

Peeta kept his arms around me as we entered the room. I noticed Jake in his Playpen and Alina sitting on the couch. She ran and hugged me.

"Sissy!" She said as she hugged me. She been calling me that since I told her that I think of her as my sister.

"What's wrong." I asked.

Alina broke the hug and pointed to the TV.

"Yes, you heard right folks." the news anchor said. "Lily Everdeen, mother of the female victor of the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen, has been sentenced to death for destruction of property, leaving the district, and poaching. Her execution is this Friday."

I sank to the floor and threw my arms over my head. I sobbed harder than ever before. I wasn't even aware of the others calling out to me. I just kept crying and was only aware of the world falling apart around me. My mom, my mommy. They're taking her away from me, just like they did with my dad. She'll die before Jake can remember her or Aza will be born. She'll never meet her granddaughter. She'll die before Prim-. Oh god, Prim. She's the girl Snow mentioned. I'll have to finish raising my little sister.

Just as this occurred to me, I finally heard Peeta calling out to me.

"Katniss, look at me!" He pleaded.

My tears slowed and I looked up at him. He sighed in relief and held me tight. He raised us from the floor.

"I'll get Grandpa to stop this." Alina promised. "He can do anything."

That was when Peeta blew up on her.

"Its all his fault this happening! Everything is his fault! HE's the cause of all the suffering in this country! You Snows only cause pain for people. You act like a sweet little girl, but you're just an evil manipulator like your grandfather and the world would be better off if you Snows would just drop dead!" He grabbed her by her shirt.

Alina stood there crying, all confused and hurt. I pushed Peeta away and held her close. All my fear, sadness, and pain morphed into anger, which was aimed at Peeta.

"You can't define her like that because she's a Snow!" I screamed at him. "She's a great person! Like I thought you were, but…you're just like him. Just like Gale. You handling her like that way…you're just like him. I can't take this anymore. We're through."

Peeta's anger turned to fear and panic.

"Katniss-"

"I can't do this anymore. I can't." I repeated and quickly took Alina with me out the door and up to my room.

My anger had reverted back to sadness and the other emotions. Alina had stopped crying.

"Is my grandpa really that bad?" She asked.

"Yes." I said.

I ignored all my problems concerning Mom, Peeta, and the world in general to focus on hers; it was easier than facing my own.

It must have been hard for her to hear all that about her grandpa. I know she never liked him, but it still must hurt.

Alina was calling to tell her mom that she was spending the night at a friend's house (my house) when Cinna came to the door, offering to let Jake stay the night at his place. I accepted and thanked him; I wasn't in the right state to take care of Jake so I was grateful.

Alina slept in my bed with me that night. I was grateful that the day had ended. I fell asleep, thankful that I at least had Alina.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I'm so, so sorry its taken me this long to get this chapter up. I never imagined that I'd be this busy this summer. I'll try to make sure you this doesn't happen again. I'm aiming for one chapter a week now, but since school's starting this week, I can't promise that I can't keep that going. I hope this chapter was worth the wait.**

* * *

I woke up the next morning and everything from previous day flooded back to me. Oh, god. Why did I say that? Why did I say we through? I need Peeta; I can't lose him. I kept my crying low so I wouldn't wake Alina and kept saying to myself that we can't be over.

I jumped out of bed and ran down the hall. I checked all the rooms on my floor till I found Peeta in one of the spare bedrooms, sleeping. I jumped on the bed and shook him awake.

"Peeta," I screamed and he awakened. "I'm so sorry about what I said! I didn't mean it! Don't leave me!"

"Katniss-"

"I need you! Always and forever. I love you so much."

I put his hand on my belly.

"If you won't for me, stay for Aza. She needs you! I need you! I-"

He silenced me with a kiss then hugged me close.

"Thank god." He said. "I was afraid that you meant it, that I had lost you."

"Never." I hugged him tighter. "I love you too much. And you you're nothing like Gale. I said that because I was upset about everything going on. I'm so sorry."

"No, its my fault. I'll apologize to Alina, I promise."

My tears slowed.

"Thank You."

He pulled back to look me in the eyes and wiped my tears away.

"Are you ok now? Are we?" He asked.

"Yeah…for now."

He hugged me close again.

We relaxed in bed for awhile. I laid in his arms while he kissed me and said sweet things to me. We even talked to Aza. We've seen couples on TV and supposedly she can hear us. I don't know if its true or not, but it was still fun talking to her.

We were like that till we finally decided to start our day at about noon. We went downstairs to eat lunch. Peeta apologized to Alina, just like he said he would. Alina, being the good hearted and kind person she is, accepted it graciously. Despite everything that has gone wrong, I was at peace. At least as much as I could be.

I called Cinna and told him he could bring Jake back and join us for lunch. Haymitch also made a surprise visit and joined us. He didn't say so, but I knew he just wanted to see how I was handling the news about my mom. I tried not to think about it. Stressing over it wasn't good for me or Aza.

Later that day, Cinna had left but the rest of us were in the TV room. Peeta and I sat on the couch. Jake sat on his lap and Alina sat on what remained of mine as we watched TV.

That was when Prim barged through the door.

"Katniss-" She froze when she saw Ali (Alina). "Who's she?"

"I'm sorry, Miss, she-" Diamond began.

"No, its fine, Diamond. Please leave us to talk." I told her.

She nodded and left. I turned back to Prim.

"Prim, what are you doing here?"

Since Mama's been arrested, the Peacekeeper had to send me here so you could take care of me. Now _who's she_?"

"Who's the girl, Sissy?" Ali asked curiously.

Prim's eyebrows went up in surprise when she called me 'Sissy'.

"This is my sister, Prim. Prim, this is-"

I stopped when Prim grabbed Ali and pulled her off me.

"Don't call her 'Sissy' again! She's my sister, not yours."

"Prim!"

She turned back to me with tears in her eyes.

"You're my sister." She said.

I gave her a hug.

"Of course I am." I told her.

"So, who is she?"

"I'm Alina Snow." Ali answered.

Prim jumped out of our hug and in front of me.

"Stay away! We've been hurt enough by you Snows."

I hated to see Ali so hurt. I gave her a hug then turned back to Prim.

"She's nothing like that. She's good person, Prim. She's practically a sister to me."

"Are you really replacing me with a Snow." she asked softly.

"I could never replace you."

I gave her a hug and then the three of sat back down. Prim sat on my lap so Ali couldn't. I filled Prim in on everything that has happened since I came to the Capitol, from meeting Ali to discovering Aza's gender.

The next couple of days went by quickly. I was happy Prim was here, but she didn't particularly like Alina. She'd ignore Alina and try to keep us separated. Its just going to take Prim some time to adjust to me having another little sister.

When Friday came around, we were invited (a.k.a. forced) to go to see Mom's execution. I was told that I could even talk to her beforehand, but the others couldn't.

That's one day I'll never forget.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Sorry, I wanted to have this up by Monday, but… yeah it didn't work out. This chapter might be the longest I've written. It seems like it to me. Anyway, I hope you like it! By the way, this story might end in a few chapters, but I'm not sure yet. Either way, don't worry because I got enough ideas for a trilogy so for as long you guys want more of the story, you'll have more : ) Also something big happens in this chapter. Something that'll have a big impact on all stories. Enjoy : )

* * *

Mom's execution day came and I felt dead inside.

Peeta, Prim, and arrived at the President's mansion for it. Jake was being watched by Cinna. It was a hard day, but I was still strong enough to help Prim through it.

I was completely appalled by how others were acting there. Everyone who came to my mother's execution was acting like they were at party. They went around eating, drinking, and laughing. My mother is suppose to die today and they're celebrating and having fun. Thank god for Peeta. Without him I don't think I could have survived the day.

A little while after we arrived, Alina met up with us.

"Hey," She said. "I'm sorry about all of this. I wish I could do something to help your mom."

"I know. Thanks for caring, Ali." I hugged her then pulled back to admire her dress. It was blue with sparkles at the skirt part. She also had her hair up in my signature braid.

"You look pretty today." I gave her a small smile, despite my world collapsing around me.

"Thanks." She smiled a little in return.

Prim stepped in between us.

"So when do you get to talk to Mama?" She asked.

Before I could answer, Alina poked her head out from behind Prim and spoke.

"Actually, that's why I came over. Grandpa wants me to take you to your mom."

"Oh, ok."

Prim gave me a hug.

"I'm going to miss Mama." She said.

I held her tight and stroked her hair.

"I will too."

I broke our then turned to Peeta.

He hugged me tight and gave me a kiss.

"We'll get through this together. You're not alone in this, ok?"

"Ok." I hid in his embrace a moment longer then left with Alina to say goodbye to Mom.

Deep into the mansion, behind a light peach door, I saw my mother. I had expected to see her huddled in a corner, covered in bruises and face streaked with tears. So surely my mind was playing tricks on me when I saw her sitting by a window, reading a book, and wearing a yellow sundress.

"Mom?"

She looked up and put her down. She gave me a sad smile.

"Hi, honey."

I strode over to her.

"You're ok." I hugged her. I was more relieved than anything, but I was still confused at why Snow had her treated so nice.

"I am. Things have been…strange since I got here."

"How so?" I pulled away to look at her.

"They've treated me well. They feed me and gave me this dress. Besides being locked in here and away from everybody, I've been fine."

"Mama?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Why is this all happening?"

She held me close.

"I don't know, Kati (Cat-E), but look at me." She pulled out of our hug to look me in the eyes. "Stay strong and don't try to stop this. Don't put Prim, Peeta, or my grandbabies at risk. Keep them safe."

She moved my hair out of my eyes. I started to cry hard.

"But they-they can't take you!" I cover my face. "I still need you, Mommy!"

"No, you don't." She stroked my hair as she spoke. "You haven't needed me since-your father's death. You learned how to take care of yourself and Prim when I couldn't. I'm so sorry I did that."

"I already forgave you, Mom."

"I know that. My point is that you'll be fine without me. I've accepted my death. I'm not scared. I'm braver then I ever was before. Seeing how strong you've become, its made me strong. I'm not weak like when your father died anymore its thanks to you."

"Mama…"

"Don't cry for me, Kati. I'm not afraid."

My tears slowed.

"So, how is everyone? How's the baby?" She switched topics.

I wiped my tears away

"We're all ok. Prim's taking and this pretty hard. Peeta and I were fighting for a while, but we're ok now. The baby's healthy."

"Boy or girl?" She asked.

"Girl. We're naming her Azalea Rosemarie"

"Azalea Rosemarie Everdeen….or is it Mellark?"

I…don't know. We haven't talk about it."

"That's fine, hon. You have plenty of time."

Yeah, I do. Just not with her.

A that moment, a man in a suit came in and told us that our time is up. I flung myself into my mother's arms.

"Bye, Mama."

"Bye, Katniss. I love you. Stay strong."

She tightened our embrace and I held back tears.

"Kay. Love you too, Mama."

She broke our hug and smiled at me.

I smiled back and left the room. My smile faded as made my way back to Peeta and them. I didn't stop till I was back in Peeta's arms, my personal safe haven.

"How'd it go?" He asked as we embraced.

I hid my face in the crook of his neck.

"As well as it could've." I answered truthfully. "It was just…hard to say goodbye."

"I know," He pulled back and kissed me. "But we'll get through this together. Remember that."

I nodded then a man spoke over the speakers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. The show's about to begin."

Show? Ok, that's it. I can't let this happen. I've had it with these Capitol sons of a-.

"Katniss." Peeta's voice brought me back from my inner meltdown. He looked worried. So did Prim and Alina.

I looked down, ashamed with myself for letting Them affecting me like this. My thoughts were heading down a dangerous path. My mom's words rang in my head:

'Stay strong and don't try to stop this. Don't put Prim, Peeta, or my grandbabies at risk. Keep them safe.'

I sobbed as we made our to seats, which were, ofcourse, front row. Peeta wrapped his arms around me and Prim and Ali held my hands. I hate crying. I never used to cry this much.

"Damn hormones." I muttered.

Peeta chuckled and I gave him a little smile. I can't cry my way through this. I have to comfort Prim. Plus, Mom doesn't want me to cry.

We all sat down, Peeta on my left and Prim and Ali fighting for the seat on my right. I knew Prim had to be my top priority today so I let her have it. She smiled triumphantly and sat down. Alina, ofcourse, wasn't going to be defeated. She asked to sit on my lap, or at least the remainder of it, and gave me her sweetest smile. So she sat on my lap and had a little win and loss for the day.

In the seats next to us, little boys were jumping up and down.

"Its story time, Mama." The green hair boy said to the women.

"Its going to be about the victor's mom, right?" The orange haired boy asked.

"Yeah," The mom said. "We'll probably get to see what Katniss Everdeen looked like when she was little."

The kids cheered.

Story? What story? How will they see what I looked like when I was little?

I turned to the woman.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

She faced and looked ready to give a fan girl scream when she realized who I was.

"You're Kat-."

"Yes, I am." I interrupted her. I really didn't want this conversation to be longer then it has to be. "I was wondering what story your kids were talking about. Could you explain?"

So she did.

She explained that executions are like going to the movie theatre here in the Capitol. The victim stands on a platform with their eyes closed and their memories play on the screen like a movie. When the 'movie' is over, the person is dead and the body is lowered down under the stage. The citizens don't how the person dies, but they don't seem to care either.

I felt sick just thinking about it. A moment later, they brought my mom out and she stood near the metal platform. Standing next to her was a man that was rarely seen by anyone from the districts: Vice President Cassius Rayne.

"Welcome, welcome!" He smiled at the crowd. "Now, let's the show begin!"

The crowd cheered. I took deep breathes and tried to keep myself from crying again.

"My lady." Rayne bowed to my mother then gestured to the platform.

Mom took a deep breath and moved her feet onto it. She closed her eyes and the 'show' began.

The screen lit up and showed (through Mom's eyes) Mom holding me as a baby and Dad standing next to her, smiling.

"Our little Kati." Mom said, looking down at Baby Me. "Our little angel."

Dad gave Mom and kiss and smiled at us.

"You know she's going to be a Daddy's Girl."

She laughed.

"Most definitely."

Then it switched to my first day of kindergarten. (They seem to be only showing memories she has with me.) She had just finished braiding my pigtails.

"You look so pretty, Kati." She said and tickled Little Me. I giggled and Mom picked me up. We got to school and she spotted someone across the schoolyard.

"Ben…" Mom whispered.

Little Me looked over to where Mom was.

"Who's Ben, Mama?"

She turned back to me.

"He's…an old friend of Mama's. He owns the bakery now."

We walked up to the school doors and ended up next to Ben. He was holding the little boy that would one day become the man I love.

"Hello, Ben."

He looked over at us.

"Hello, Lily." He said politely, but seemed genuinely please to seem her, if not, for some reason, a bit sad.

"Its nice to see you again. This is my daughter, Katniss."

"Hi, Katniss." He said to Little Me.

I gave him a small smile.

"Hi." Little Me said, then hid my face in the crook of Mama's neck.

"This is my son, Peeta." Ben said.

Little Me peeked out of my hiding spot to get a better look at Peeta. He smiled at me and I my face again.

Our parents put us down and the four of us walked in together.

The memory ended there, but I remember what happened afterwards. I spent the rest of the day wanting to talk to Peeta, but never had the courage to. Even in kindergarten, all the kids loved Peeta, but they didn't like me for some reason. I just sat in the corner and colored with Madge, who I spent most of my school life with, but rarely ever talked to.

My own memory faded from my mind as Mom's next one came up on the screen. It was the day Prim was born. I held her hand as we watched it:

Mom was laying in bed, holding newborn Prim. Dad brought me in to meet her.

"Hi, Kati." Mom said as Little Me climbed up onto the bed to sit next to her.

"My Prim?" Little Me asked Mom.

"Yes, honey. She's your little sister."

Little Me was excited to meet Prim, especially since I got to pick her name. Back when Mom and Dad were trying to pick her name, they asked what I'd want it to be. I said Primrose, after my favorite flower. They loved it so that became her name.

Little me looked down at sleeping Prim and was inspired to say my next words.

"I'll be the best big sissy ever. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Mom awed and Dad kissed the top of my head.

"That's my girl." He said.

More memories played on the screen and as the memories got the more recent , I became more anxious. When the memories end, my mother will dead.

The day of the reaping was playing on the screen when this black mist came and started to carry my mom away. As it passed over the platform, the memory of the reaping was interrupted and replaced by a new one:

Someone was looking down at me, Mom, and Prim. I looked like I was in my preteens and Prim looked about eight years old. We were all asleep in Mom's bed and the person was just staring down at us.

The person stroke Mom's hair and light kissed us three on the foreheads.

"I hope you'll forgive me someday." The person said, then left the room.

The memory ended there and the guards shot at the mist, but it didn't do any good and Mom ended up turning to mist and they both disappeared.

The crowd screamed and some tried to run out of the building. The guards tried to get everything under control.

I sat in my seat, shocked. Not just because my mom was kidnapped, but because of the voice.

I turned to Peeta.

"I know that voice."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Chapter's up. Now, the **_**next chapter **_**is **_**the last chapter**_** of this story. I might write a sequel to this and continue the story, but only if you guys want me to. I should have a poll about this up soon. Anyway, enjoy :) Btw, there is an interesting twist in this chapter :)**

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Today had been a long day. After my mother's kidnapping, they regained control over the crowd and ushered us away for questioning. Since we didn't know anything and had some help from Alina, we were set free and we went home. Cinna brought Jake back and we told him what happened.

"Black mist kidnapped your mom?"

I nodded. I was in Peeta's arm as we sat on the couch in the living room. Alina and Prim were watching Jake in his room.

"Yeah, but I don't think it's a mist. It had memories. It knew me, Mom, and Prim."

"Who was it? Earlier you said you had recognized the voice." Peeta asked.

I was quiet at first. What if they don't believe me? I looked down and just played with my hands.

"Katniss?"

I looked up. Peeta and Cinna looked worried.

"Please don't think I'm crazy."

Their worry grew.

"Why would we think that?" Cinna asked.

I hid my face in Peeta's chest. He held me in a tight embrace before I spoke. It had been so long since I heard the voice that it shook me up inside.

"It was my dad." I said, eyes rimmed with tears.

The room was quiet until Peeta spoke.

"Kat, your dad is dead."

I looked up at him.

"But it was my dad. I know it."

Peeta and Cinna gave each other a look then turned back to me.

"Maybe you need to go lay down Katniss." Cinna said.

"Yeah." Peeta agreed. "Its been a long day."

A tear slid down my cheek. They think I'm crazy They don't believe me.

**Prim POV**

I had just put Jake to bed. Katniss sent me and the Snow in here with Jake so they could have a grown up talk. Alina 's sitting in the corner, trying to out of my way. I really don't understand that girl. As rude as I've been to her, you'd think she'd be rude back sooner or later, but she hasn't. She has been nice, even when Katniss isn't around.

"Ok, what are you planning?" I asked her.

She blinked in surprise.

"Wh-what?"

"What are you planning?" I asked again. "I won't let you hurt my sister."

"I'd never hurt Sissy-."

"Stop calling her that!"

Things were quiet for a moment.

"I'm sorry," She said. "For everything that has happened to you, that doesn't mean you can treat me like this."

I scowled at her and took a moment to think. She was right, but can she be trusted? No, never, but Katniss wants me to get along with her. I want to protect Kati like she has protected me all of my life, but I still need to trust her judgment. She likes the Snow girl and thinks she's a good person so…maybe she's right.

"I still don't trust you… but, for Katniss, I'll try to like you."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I blushed. "and-and since you're Kati's sister now, then you're my sister too."

Her face lit up.

"Sisters? That's great!"

"Yeah, so do you want to check if the others are done talking…Alina?"

Her smile grew when I said her name.

"Sure-."

She was interrupted by Katniss's voice coming from the hallway.

"Please believe me! It was him!"

We went into the hallway to see what was going on.

Katniss was holding on to one of Peeta's arms as she looked up at him while she cried. Peeta had a pained expression on his face.

"Kati?" I called as Alina called out "Sissy?"

Katniss turned and rushed over towards us , still crying.

"The voice from the mist's memory. It was Dad's. You two heard it, right?"

The mist's memory? I vaguely remember a memory on the screen, I was focusing on Mama getting carried away. Just thinking about it made me want to cry, but I can't. I have to stay strong for Katniss.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. I wasn't paying attention to the screen."

"Neither was I" Alina said, looking as regretful as I felt.

"Do you two believe me though? That it was Dad?"

"So Daddy's alive?" I asked, not sure how to feel about it.

"No." Peeta said, interjected. "Your sister has been through a lot and needs some rest-."

"I don't need rest. I need you guys to believe me." She turned back to us. "Do you believe me?"

There was only was one answer to that question.

"Of course." I said and Alina nodded in agreement. I'll always be on Katniss's side, no matter what. What Katniss is saying is strange, but it must be true if she thinks it is.

"Girls," Peeta began. "Listen-."

"No, you listen!" I told him. "Why don't you believe her?"

"Prim, you don't understand. Your sister might be sick-."

"She is not sick! So-so," I stuttered, trying to think of the worst thing to say to him. "So fuck you, you meanie!"

"Prim, no cussing." Katniss said feebly.

I grabbed her hand and looked back at Peeta.

"You hurt her when you do things like this."

Peeta went back to his pained expression. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

"Prim," He finally said. "Its late. Go to bed.. Alina, if you're spending the night then go to your room, too."

"But-."

"Prim, please listen to him." Katniss told me.

I sighed and gave her a hug.

"Ok," I said. "But I believe you and I'll always be on your side."

"I know. Thanks, Prim." She kissed me on my forehead.

Alina and I left for our rooms.

**Peeta POV**

I waited till the girls were in their rooms then I took Katniss by the hand and lead us into our room.

I sat us down on the bed and held her to my chest as she cried.

"It was him." She said. "I'm sorry. I know you think I'm crazy. I'm sorry."

"Shhh… I'll be ok, Katniss."

I held her till she fell asleep then tucked her in and laid down next to her.

I feel so worthless. I can't seem to protect Katniss from anything.

**Prim POV**

I can't sleep. Today has been too much. Mom has been kidnapped, Katniss, and Peeta thinks she's crazy. Its all too much.

My door was opened and Alina poked her head in.

"Prim? Are you awake?"

I sat up.

"Yeah."

She came in and crawled onto my bed sat next to meet.

"Are you having trouble sleeping, too?" I asked her.

"Mhmm." She said.

"Do you really believe Katniss?" I asked her.

"Ofcourse."

"Then why didn't you help me tell Peeta off?"

"Because this is hard enough for him. He doesn't like hurting Katniss . I bet its tearing him apart inside."

Why couldn't I figure that out?

I've never thought about it that way. I guess I'll apologize to him tomorrow."

"That's good." Alina yawned.

"Want to sleep in here with me?" I asked.

"Sure."

I moved the blanket and covered her up. Its nice sharing a bed with a sister again. Its been a long time since Katniss and I shared one.

I drifted off to sleep to with only one thought on my mind:

_I like her, but can I trust her?_

**Snow POV**

"For the last time, my grandchildren are off limits! Especially Alina!" I glared at the only person who knows how to infuriate me to no end.

"She's the girl's friend. Who better for a spy?" Rayne argued.

"No spies and you'll have nothing to do with my granddaughter."

"Oh, calm down Cori and see the big picture here."

"I'm tired of looking at 'the big picture'. Most of the nation is suffering right now because of you and your 'picture' yet they blame me."

"I'll be worth it in the end, trust me, Cori."

"Nothing is worth the suffering of my people."

"Not even my happiness?" Rayne asked, leaning in closer. "Don't you care if I'm happy?"

I blushed and looked away.

"If I didn't care about your happiness then I wouldn't help fuel the lie that you are a man, my dearest Cassandra."

Cassandra is the daughter of my last vice president, Donovin Rayne. When her father was mysteriously poisoned and died, I was suppose to replace him with Cassandra's twin brother, Cassius, but he killed himself over grief of their father's death. Cassandra took their deaths hard, but she felt that she had to make her father and brother's dream come true: making Panem the most powerful country in the world.

Capitol society frowns upon women having government jobs though. It isn't illegal really, but the women of the Capitol have always preferred to party rather than work or have more lady-like jobs like stylist, fashion designer, etc., so in order to have people take her seriously and not look down on her, she has been pretending to be her brother, Cassius, while the rest of the Capitol thinks she herself is dead.

Over the years, I have fallen in love with her, but the years that brought our love also made her twisted, possibly beyond help. I fear her suffering over the years has messed with her mental health. I've tried to help her for years with no success so I've been trying to do the next best thing: Make her happy. Unfortunately, that has lead to the suffering of my people. She keeps pushing me farther and farther, asking me to sacrifice more and more, which I do out of my love for her. Though there is one thing that I will never let her have under her control: My grandchildren, especially Alina. Cassandra has had her eyes on little Alina for a while now and its my fault because I, too, have had my eye on her.

"Then why won't you let me involve the girl?" Cassandra asked, green eyes filled with tears like whenever we get on this topic.

I wrapped her in a tight embrace and stroke her long, curly auburn hair that she usually hides with this clip I had made to hide most of it.

"My love for you does not stretch as far as letting history repeat itself, my love."

"You see her as me. When I was young and untouched by the grief that I hold within."

"As do you, my angel. That is why you want her so badly."

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**A/N: So that's the chapter. The next chapter will be the last one. Don't forget to vote in the poll on whether you want a sequel. I hope you will like the last chapter. See you next week :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Finally chapter! Enjoy : ) And don't forget to vote in my poll!**

**Katniss POV**

I stayed in my room for three days after my mother's kidnapping. I didn't want to talk to Peeta. I didn't want anything to do with him so on the first day I locked him out of our room. Sometimes, I'd let Prim and Alina in for a bit, but mostly I was alone.

On the third day, Peeta knocked on my door.

"Katniss." He called through the door, clearly still upset and worried.

"Go away." I told him for the eleventh time that day.

"Haymitch is here." Peeta said back.

I got out of bed and rushed to the door.

"Haymich?" I called through the door.

"I'm here, sweetheart."

I unlocked the door and flung it open. I went straight into his arms and cried on his shoulder.

"Haymitch…" I cried.

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

I lead Haymitch into my room and locked Peeta out once more.

"Do you know?" I asked as we sat by the window.

"Everyone in the Capitol, if not the Districts, knows about what happened to your mom." He said. "As for your…theory, Peeta filled me in on it."

I didn't say anything. I didn't want to beg anymore for people to believe me and, honestly, I'm afraid to find out. I couldn't bear it if Haymitch didn't believe me either. It was already bad enough that Peeta didn't believe me. I looked down at my hands.

"I know you're not crazy. You're just trying to speak what you believe is _right_."

I looked up when I heard him emphasize the word 'right'.

"Its good to see you sharing your theory. Thing like that can be _hard to say_ in the Capitol, especially being afraid that someone who will judge you _will hear you_."

There was only a slight emphasis to his words, but I understood his meaning. Not only does he believe me, but he knows more and he can't tell me. Its too dangerous for him to tell me.

I nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks, Haymitch."

"No problem, sweetheart. Just remember, things will make sense someday."

After that day, I stopped hiding in my room. I went on acting like nothing happened. It still hurt that Peeta didn't believe me, but we still went back to our old ways. Though under every smile, every kiss, was the problem that we refused to face: My belief that my father is alive and Peeta's opinion of my sanity.

Time went by. No major events happened, just ones you'd expect with pregnancy. My appetite grew to the point where I felt as if I ate everthing in sight and I hated it. I felt so self-conscious about it. Like you'd expect, Peeta was there for and I eventually I got over it, but before I did, I also felt fat.

There was this one day that I felt of my pregnancy days. I staring at myself in the mirror in the corner of our bedroom.

I sighed and Peeta wrapped his arms around me.

"You ok?" He asked.

"It's nothing."

"Katniss…" He said in his just-tell-me warning voice.

I sighed again then spoke.

"I just feel so fat."

He chuckled.

"Its not funny!" I told him.

"Kat, you're pregnant not fat."

"I know, but still. I just feel so ugly and gross sometimes."

All the humor left his eyes. He hugged me tighter and kissed me on the cheek.

"You're beautiful." He said. "Never ever doubt it."

It was about a month after that when Aza was born. It was May 3rd and will forever be one of the memorable day for Peeta and me, but it was also the day our fear grew. Our blonde haired, blue eyed angel had been born into a world filled with danger and fear. She probably won't even a full life. Yet neither will Jake. Someone, please send us a miracle.

**A/N: So that's 'Life For Me'. Please vote on the poll so I know if you want a sequel or not. I have so many more good idea! :D**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hey everybody! I just started the sequel, What Life Gave Us. Go check it out! Just go to my profile page and it'll be on my list of stories :)**


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